Day 28 - April 27
Listening to: Where You Lead
Thought for the day: It’s always good when the sun is present at sunset.

Squirrel is to dog as bad weather is to Kris. I have been so distracted today. There are two things that afflict me with severe adult attention deficit disorder: snow and tornadoes (there were 25 tornado warnings at one point today - SQUIRREL!!!!). The cherry on the ADD pie? I am a royal wedding watcher, so right now I am an eye for detail disaster.

Today was NOT the day to be distracted and leave my umbrella in the car when I got to work, but I did. Thankfully, a coworker in shining armor came to my rescue. I got to walk down the aisle to the work exit gate dry (featured photo). I felt like royalty.

Thanks Russ!

Day 29 - April 26
Listening to: Solsbury Hill
Thought for the day: If ovarian cancer is found (and treated) before the cancer has spread outside the ovary, the 5-year survival rate is 93%. GET CHECKED!

This is my official female peep PSA for my 365 project. Don't put off your annual girly exam!!! If you're as lucky as me, you will have a view like the one I had today during my exam. Yes, you are looking at men on the ceiling in my OBGYN's exam room. Do I really need to type more? I'm trying to be discreet for my gentleman readers. I've been going to the same OBGYN for the past 15 years. When I first started going, the men smiling down at me while I heard "scoot to the edge" were JKF jr. and George Clooney. Times have changed. I can only identify one of the men amongst today's ceiling fantasy men, Keith Urban. How can you not laugh at this? It calms the nerves for sure.

Day 30 - April 25
Listening to: Owner of Lonely Heart
Thought for the day: “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” ~Leslie Poles Hartley

I walk up and down this sidewalk close to 30 times a week. The photo is not circa 2011 as you can see from the date underneath it. It is a street that I live near as it appeared in 1925. If you live in the Village, this photo was taken looking east down 14th Street beside Rachel’s Walk. The building on the man’s right was one of the YMCAs. Houses now stand its place.

I think of this picture often when I reach the section of the sidewalk where the man appears. I wonder where he was going and why he appeared to be dressed in a suit. I wish I could rewind this sidewalk like an old-school videotape and replay the movement and watch lives moving by. If a photo was taken of me on the sidewalk this morning and viewed 76 years from now, the viewer would be pondering why the bed headed woman wearing the mismatched clothing looked so trailer-trash chic.

Day 32 - April 24
Listening to: Holiday
Thought for the day: He takes men out of time and makes them feel eternity. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have your frilly Easter dresses and then there is the tic-tac-toe jump suit. Thank goodness I had no clue that apparel mattered on Easter when I was four. At least I am sporting a stuffed duck as an accessory.

The older I get, the more I reminisce on holidays. Today is no different. This picture brings back memories. When I was a tic-tac-toe tyke, we spent Easter Sundays at my Great Grandmother’s farm. She had a bazillion acres and big spooky house filled with antiques. When it came time for the perfunctory Easter egg hunt, my cousins and I were relegated to the upstairs of the spooky house while the adults hid eggs. One year, we went into one of the bedrooms and clamored on top of a giant feather bed that hadn’t been slept in for years. Opposite the bed was a dead relative's photo collection on the wall. Their eyes were intense and piercing. The Alpha cousin (you know what I’m talking about if you have cousins) insisted their eyes were moving. That’s the year I decided I was done with the perfunctory Easter egg hunt at the farm. I don’t think I ever participated again.

Day 33 - April 23
Listening to: Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail
Thought for the day: The only thing missing from this wonderful 4-day weekend of mine, IS YOU!!!!

Easter Bunny! COME BACK!!!! I didn’t get to tell you what I want for Easter!!! What happens when you sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap? I have never had the privilege. Is it a Santa Claus-type deal where IT asks you what you want? I say “it” because ………… what gender is the Easter Bunny? The thought of sitting on the lap of a super-holiday, gift-bearing, genderless-hero is kind of creepy. I think growing up I always referred to the Easter Bunny as “he,” but the Easter Bunny in this pic walked like a female. The “Here Comes Peter Cotton Tale” ditty implies the Bunny is a he. I guess that’s the only clue I have to work with here.

6 year old Kris: Easter Bunny, I’d like a stuffed animal and some chocolate.

43 year old Kris: Easter Bunny, I’d like a fireplace, a boat, some chocolate, a good bottle of wine, and friends to share it all with. (ya’ll proud of me for not asking for a man with teeth?)

Day 34 - April 22
Listening to: The Metro
Thought for the day: I am forgiven.

If it snows next week, ya’ll can blame me. I freeze dried my winter clothes today, or at least that’s what it looked like. I put my winter clothes away in those nifty air sucking space bags. I think I have an addiction to the bags. I’m wondering what took so long for someone to market such a genius idea. Space bags are one of those inventions that borderline on stupidity in their simplicity, like wheels on suitcases and post-it notes. It makes me wonder what other simple ideas are out there.

Update on the bird nests that I wrote about yesterday: two momma birds have returned to their nests. The remaining nest in question has 3 eggs in it. I’m hoping.

Day 35 - April 21
Listening to: Think
Thought for the day: “If I can stop one Heart from breaking I shall not live in vain If I can ease one life the Aching Or cool one Pain Or help one fainting Robin Unto his Nest again I shall not live in Vain” ~Emily Dickinson

I spent the day slaying the beast that I call The Hedgerow from Hell. Typically, I only trim a foot off the top and I do so in June. I decided this year to take advantage of cool weather and cut the beast in half in April. As I brandished the hedge cutter, blades gleaming in the sun, I had no fear. And then it happened. I spotted a bird nest (this never happens in June). There was an egg in it. SOB!!! I cut around the nest. My woes were not over There ended up being THREE nests. I don’t know if the momma birds will come back or not, but I had to try. The thought crossed my mind that I may potentially be a baby bird killer, but then wait……………… I eat eggs all of the time. Does that make me a mass serial baby chicken killer? I think too much.

Anyway, I’m hoping a few of my neighbors will read this and understand why my hedge row has small sections that are uncut. It looks really funny.

Day 36 - April 20
Listening to: Someone Save my Life (still on Elton)
Thought for the day: My weekend starts………NOW! Long weekend-gasm alert!

The cow goes moooooooooooooooo. The pig goes oink oink. What kind of noise does the cowboy pork chop make? YEEEHAW-Oink? Anyone else fascinated with the See-n-Say as a kid (I was)?

I don’t know what was wrong with me today. I either experienced some cyclic hormonal thing or my brain thought my stomach was the size of Kansas. I was hungry ALL DURN DAY!!! As you know, tonight was Wednesday Dinner Club night. We went to Longhorn Steak House. Yeah, not a big deal, but with national debt-sized hunger a leather shoe would have been tasty. Thank goodness Longhorn doesn’t serve leather shoes. I ate the cowboy pork chops. The chops successfully shut down the hunger hound camped in my brain, so Longhorn gets no complaints from me! As you can see, it was a two-fork night!

Day 37 - April 19
Listening to: Island Girl
Thought for the day: After one year as vice pres., two years as THE pres., and two years as recording secretary......... I hereby make a motion that I can now hang up my McGavock band responsibilities hat. Can I get a second?

I call this picture “Kris Dressed Like Elton...FAIL.” I am posting it because I know it will make a particular person who had a bad day today laugh. The photo is from one of my dance recitals back in the 70s. I performed a routine to Elton’s “Island Girl.” We all thought I looked like Elton when in fact I looked more like Raggedy Kris. I wish I still had the glasses though.

Day 38 - April 18
Listening to: Love the One You’re With
Thought for the day: Love My Easter Bunny (Mom)

How it is possible any of us ever believed in the Easter Bunny with basket bonanzas on display like this one in K-Mart? At least Santa’s shenanigans are a bit more covert. All I know is I always wanted one of these commercial concocted baskets chock full of chocolate and a toy. I never received one. The Bunny in my life (aka Mom) was always generous, but I still longed to see the masses of shiny cellophane glimmering in the morning light when I ventured into the room where the Bunny left the goods. I’m grateful my Bunny never gave into my childish wishes and commercial trickery because I still have ever single stuffed rabbit, lamb, and duck ever given to me on Easter morn. I doubt I could say the same if I had been the recipient of a store-bought basket.

Day 39 - April 17
Listening to: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Thought for the day: "I owned an El Camino pickup in the '70s. It was a real sort of Southern deal. I had AstroTurf in the back. You don't want to know why, but I did." ~Bill Clinton

I spent some time at Alive Hospice today. I shed a bucket load of tears on my way home and in the midst of the eye flood I saw this RoosterMino (El Camino). I immediately thought, “Hmmm my life could be worse. I could be driving around in a big Chicken Camino.”

Last week, I fried a bunch of chicken and thought afterward how unattractive I smelled. I thought I could write a personal ad that said, “SWF smells like fried chicken ISO SWM that doesn’t.” Then I giggled to myself because I’m stupid like that. Today I added to my ad. “SWF smells like fried chicken and drives RoosterMino.” I think I’d get a lot of response...........for the car alone. Anyway, it just goes to show God works in mysterious ways. I continued to cry, but I was reminded I had the ability to still be silly and smile for a moment.

Day 40 - April 16
Listening to: Baker Street
Thought for the day: I have a question. You probably get this a lot, but this isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it? ~Alan in “The Hangover”

I feel a bit of pressure because one of my best friends returned to Facebook today after a lengthy Facebook sabbatical and commented on her wall that she missed my daily thoughts. Where would I be without friends?

It’s a free HBO weekend (insert me singing the Hallelujah! Chorus here)!!! All I’ve been doing today is filling my head with movies, movies, and more movies. My coffee table looks like a Diet Coke graveyard with the cans serving as headstones. To celebrate such a joyous occasion, I made stove-popped popcorn tonight with loads of butter. I could have cooked microwave popcorn, but microwave popcorn is more in the class of reality TV and/or American Idol. It’s not the best. Raise your hand if you’re a stove cooked popcorn fan!

Day 41 - April 15
Listening to: I'm Always Chasing Rainbows
Thought for the day: Lost.

My photography skills are a lot like my driving skills. I’m not a very good driver and I'm not a very good photographer. When I combined the two, the outcome wasn’t pretty. Yes, I took this photo while trying to manipulate the streets of Madison. I had to. It was too poetic. In case, you think you need reading glasses, don’t fret. It IS blurry.

You are looking at a garbage truck with the words “PRAY TODAY” on the back. My initial thought was “If I had to get up at 5 a.m. every morning and smell, see, and touch other people’s trash I’d be in constant prayer for my circumstances to change.” Then, my thoughts switched to the fact that many people, including myself, only pray when there is garbage in their lives. Why is it so difficult to pray when the i’s are dotted and t’s crossed?

Day 42 - April 14
Listening to: Early in the Morning
Thought for the day: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGH

HHHHH

At what age is it considered okay to become repetitive? You know, the age where no one says, "you already told me that." Let's pretend I'm at that age because I think I'm probably being repetitive with today's thought.

I know what my Dad’s favorite food is. It’s ice cream. He bleeds it. You can count on eating it if you visit him. He used ice cream to teach me his sharing principle; the principle that the process of sharing makes whatever you are sharing better.

While visiting him one summer, I went to get the ice cream container out of the freezer only to find it almost empty (a rare occurrence in the Trolinger household). I scooped out the remaining clouds of vanilla into my bowl without any regard for anyone else. My Dad was observing my every move. When I sat down and started to eat he said, "You know that would taste better if you'd share” I giggled and said, “yeah……..right.” What kind of ploy was this? Then, a strange thing happened. I was slammed with guilt and ended up sharing. We laughed the entire time. I remember the moment more than the ice cream which is EXACTLY why sharing makes everything better.

There never was, nor will there ever be a need to scream in our family car to get Dad to stop for ice cream.

Day 43 - April 13
Listening to: Molly Malone
Thought for the day: If you never did, you should. These things are fun and fun is good! ~Dr. Seuss

I is Kris, Kris I is…………If I was afflicted with a case of Dr. Seuss-itis, I would construct a story about Scotch Eggs and Corned Beef to describe tonight’s Wednesday Dinner Group experience. Before tonight, if you had told me I would be noshing on Scotch Eggs and Corned Beef at McNamara's Irish Pub, I would have told you I do not like either food here or there, in a house or with a mouse, in a box with a fox ………you get the idea. Alas, my creativity is a bit knackered tonight, so you can consider yourself lucky that I won't KriSeuss you!

I experienced a first tonight. We shared an order of Caledonia Scotch Eggs as an appetizer. I had no idea what they were, but just the sound of Caledonia Scotch Eggs sounded hurlistic to me. Heaven smiled down on me………..they were fried. You know my rule on fried stuff right? If it’s fried, Kris likes it.

For my main meal I ordered the corned beef bites. I typically don’t like corned beef. That wasn’t the case tonight. The corned beef bites were to die for. I am going to be hard pressed to order anything else when we return to McNamara’s next time………….. and we will return. For the record, the waiter said the fish and chips were the best item on the menu. Several of my friends concur.

Day 45 – April 11
Listening to: You Are Perfect
Thought for the day: When the lawn mower of life runs you over, act like a dandelion.

Someone warned the dandelion brigade that I was mowing Saturday. They apparently all bowed to the blade and were spared. When I walked out this morning, the newly bald dandelions were standing erect in full blown glory once again. I am convinced this is my yard’s way of giving me the finger for trying to annihilate anything living in it. Oh well. I might as well admire the dandelions’ perseverance. There are lessons to be learned here. Next time someone mows me over, I’m going to pop back up and keep living my life…………………..until someone blasts me with Kris and Feed.

Day 46 – April 10
Listening to: Wind chimes singing in the wind………..somewhere in the background The Masters
Thought for the day: “Snakes….I hate snakes.” ~Indiana Jones

If Pearl (my black Lab) had her own Fab Lab company, she would produce perfumes called Squirrel, Scent of a Bitch, and Eau Du Dead Animal. Today, she discovered and dabbed on a new scent. We’ll call it Snake or Snake Oil for dogs. Fortunately for me, this dead snake had not been departed from this world long enough to become odiously odoriferous. This baby snake was actually our second snake sighting for the day. God was smiling on me in that Pearl Girl didn’t see the first big, fat, black, nasty SNAKE slither off into a massive tangled tree vine universe. I wasn’t fast enough to get a picture of the big mutha. I was too busy sucking in 50 pints of fear-fueled air.

Day 46 – April 9
Listening to: Born to Be Wild
Thought for the day: Build a biker bar and they will come.

Get your motor runnin’………..HEAD OUT ON THE HIGHWAY………. A tsunami of motorcycles rumbled through my hood this afternoon impeding my progress to go somewhere. I had to wait at least 5 minutes for them to pass. There must have been over one hundred of them. I immediately tried to sing 100 Motorcycles on the Road to the tune of 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, but it didn’t quite work. I reckon I’ve never had so much chrome and leather pass in front of me at once. They were no doubt headed to the bar precariously perched on the side of the road across from my place of employment……………a place long-time DuPont employees refer to as “The Polecat.” Back in the day, when the Old Hickory DuPont site employed thousands of workers, The Polecat was THE place to go get an adult beverage when one got off work at 8 a.m. My one and only contact with The Polecat occurred when one of my coworkers took the bicycles from my backyard and parked them in The Polecat parking lot to make it look like my children and I were there!

The Polecat eventually closed. It has since been reopened, revived, and rejuvenated by the grace and roar of hog engines. It is now a bona-fide biker bar. Go figure.

Day 47 – April 8
Listening to: When Your Hot Your Hot (Jerry Reed)
Thought for the day: Hello 80 degrees! You’ve been missed!

Haute couture fashion often makes me say WTF. This car made me say WTF; therefore, this car must be haute couture in vehicle terms. You KNOW this car has a name. hmmm…… Wonder what it is? This was my view as I left work today to kiss the weekend hello. I love my coworkers and I’m not dissin’ anyone. It is OBVIOUS the owner of this vehicle has taken great pains to achieve some level of automobile nirvana. I just don’t get it. It actually made me giggle a little. I have a lot of car-diculous friends, so maybe someone can explain to me the why a car needs wheels that require the driver to wear a parachute to exit the vehicle.

Day 48 – April 7
Listening to: Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
Thought for the day: Woop Woop!

I am wine illiterate and a bona-fide wine retard. I consider it a form of irresponsibility in that I haven’t taken time to educate myself. Nevertheless, I like wine. I confess that I typically buy wine by the label and/or unusual name.

How could I resist a bottle of wine named Woop Woop………and a Shiraz at that (I like the Shirazzes forshirazzizzle). Woop Woop costs $12.99. Approximately $3.49 of the $12.99 is payback for me getting a laugh off of the name.

In my mind, wine is like art. It is subjective. If you put a $300 price tag on it and label it as “excellent,” people will flock to it boasting of bouquets and clarity……………..or will they? I’m starting a “my kids have left the nest” list……right here………right now. Let it be known that the first item on the list is to educate myself on wine.

Okay, I’ll see ya’ll later. I’m going to go have me a little Woop Woop.

Day 49 – April 6
Listening to: Cherry Cherry
Thought for the day: The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. ~Wilson Mizner

Meet Maneki Neko, the lucky cat. With my Wednesday Night Dinner Club on hiatus for two weeks, I felt kind of lost tonight. I decided I was going to eat out anyway………or takeout in my case. When I went to pick up my food, lucky cat was beckoning to me. Beckoning you say? Yes, beckoning. Lucky cat beckons, he does not wave. There is a cultural difference in American body gestures vs. oriental gestures.

A lucky cat with his left paw raised is supposed to attract customers. No. 1 Chinese really doesn’t need a beckoning cat to draw me in as long as they have an ample supply of crab rangoons. A waving crab rangoon would work just as well! The color of a lucky cat also carries significance. A gold lucky cat is supposed to bring great wealth. A red lucky cat begets love and marriage. Don’t be surprised if you walk in my house and see a red plastic feline beckoning to you.

http://www.best-cat-art.com/Japanese-lucky-cat.html

Day 49 – April 5
Listening to: When Dove’s Cry
Thought for the day: Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? ~Rose F. Kennedy

Driving home last night after the storms was hectic. I couldn't take my normal path home because drunken utility polls were swaying on the side of the road. They'd consumed too many windtinis I suspect. Trees were down everywhere. My thought immediately went to the Ospreys that call the DuPont property home. There are two pairs whose nests sit exposed to the elements. The nests are massive yet fragile. I've written about the birds before in the 365. I call them Barney, Betty, Fred, and Wilma. Their nests have been swept away in the past, so I was filled with anxiety as I began my walk today. What would I find? Thankfully, both nests and all four birds appeared unharmed. Barney was busy reinforcing his nest.

Day 50 – April 4
Listening to: Every Breath I take
Thought for the day: “I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles.” ~Thomas Alva Edison quote

This was my view last night. Why do older people always say, “You lose your lights?” instead of “you lose electricity?” I was without power for 12 hours yesterday. I've never been without power for that long. There are two things that stood out in my mind. First, the quiet that descended upon my house with no juice flowing to the outlets was palpable. I could hear myself thinking and I was loud. It's a wonder I didn't go insane listening to myself without any voltaic interference. The second thing I noticed doesn't really fall under the "notice" category and should be characterized as more of an appreciation. Toilets don't require electricity to flush. I've never given the electric-less toilet much thought. I wonder how many other simplistic modern marvels I pay no heed to because they are drowned out by white noise.

Day 51 - April 3 (adjusted countdown - will repair damage later)
Listening to: You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet
Thought for the Day: The trees that have it in their pent-up buds
To darken nature and be summer woods -~Robert Frost

There are some things in nature that make me stop, pause, and say, “Wow that really is designed well.” The maple leaf seed would be one of those things. Today was really windy and these things were on the fly with intense determination to populate the world with maple tree shade. Like many people, I called the seeds “helicopters” when I was young and spent hours picking them up and watching them float to the ground. I’m pretty sure I probably tried to concoct an imaginary culinary dish out of them as well. Maple Mac & Seed maybe? No flower or plant was safe from Chef Krissy.