June 11, 2011

Listening to: I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T
Thought for the day: When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves. ~Eda LeShan

When I woke up this morning, I experienced extreme loneliness. It’s as if a big fat-ass being of loneliness sat on me in an attempt to suffocate me with its big ass, ugly butt, gross smelling ass cheeks. I was suffocating.

At some point in the late afternoon, I decided to get out of the house and go eat. It was too early to eat dinner, but after being squashed by fat-ass loneliness I was hungry. When I walked into the restaurant, the only other patron was a 70+ year-old man. I thought to myself, “Great, I’m one step away from eating dinner at 4 p.m., going to bed at 8 p.m., and getting up at 5 a.m.”

Something happened when I sat down to eat. I can’t explain it. My perspective changed as if someone kicked the fat-ass loneliness off of me. Negative thoughts were replaced with an overwhelming sense of freedom and blessing.

So let me say something about the ketchup in this picture. The bottle says, “Our fries are so good you don’t need to add ketchup.” BULL. I know 2 people that don’t like chocolate and one that doesn’t like ketchup (my cousin). My cousin hates ketchup so passionately that he has ketchup radar and can zero in on it 10 miles away. I know because I’ve tried to trick him in into eating it because I just can’t comprehend anyone not liking it. I’m not sure which is more unique: ketchup haters or chocolate haters. Thus, I was surprised to see this statement on the ketchup bottles. My fries were HONORED to be doused with ketchup

June 7, 2011
Listening to: Good Life
Thought for the day: If “smelling the roses” seems blasé’ to you, take a moment, enjoy life, and make some Johnson grass music.

Today I found myself standing in a field of waist-high Johnson grass (photo). I felt like someone dumped me out in an Alice in Wonderland-sized front yard. I suddenly felt small. Then I started thinking. Usually, when I’m bored and see a good patch of Johnson grass, I pick a piece, place it between my thumbs, blow, and make Johnson grass music. I wondered if the Alice in Wonderland Johnson grass was capable of making sound. I’m here to tell you it is and the sound is as pure as human-sized Johnson grass.

Day 1 – May 23
Listening to: Weird Science
Thought for the day: If God can make a bug’s butt light up, He can do anything.

Painting by: Jim Trolinger

I saw my first lightening bug tonight!!! I draw faith from the complex design of the lightening bug. I figure if a God can give light to the butt of a lowly bug, He can do just about anything. What if human’s butts lit up? Would we get plastic surgery to enhance the luminescence? People already get butt implants so what’s a little added light to the procedure? The song “Baby Got Back” might take on a whole new meaning if our butts lit up.

Photography for me is like trying to eat soup with a knife, so I didn’t attempt to capture my first lightening butt sighting. Instead, I present to you an original painting by my dad. He painted this cartoon for me after I made my lightening bug faith epiphany known.

Day 2 – May 22
Listening to: Imagine
Thought For the Day: My advice to graduates? Floss! Everyday! You won’t be sorry.

It is done! My baby girl graduated from high school today as a distinguished scholar. Just like out of a Twilight episode, her graduation was in the same building as my high school graduation. While I sat waiting for her name to be called, I tried to remember where I sat during my own graduation and couldn’t. I have no clue! Christian will remember where she sat. I think she had the best seat in the house. She sat on the stage with the other distinguished scholars. Her seat was on the front row on the corner. She was basically face to face with every student as they waited to hear their name to walk the stage to receive their diploma. I watched her talk to almost everyone that passed her and she clapped for most of them too. The joy on her face made all of the stress we’ve been through worthwhile. I won't forget it. Who cares where I sat when I graduated.

Day 3 – May 21
Listening to: 10:00 News
Thought For the Day: NOM NOM NOM.........

Sometimes I think God provides a select group of mothers with a manual about teenagers. I didn’t receive said manual and there is no book of “teen revelations” in the Bible. If said manual exists, I’m fairly certain that there is a chapter in the book about how some teenagers decide to proclaim another woman as their mother during the 15-18 year range. There's probably also assurance that it's not a mom divorce. Young girls sometimes just need a mom-like friend. I did it as a teen and Christian followed in my footsteps. For me, my adopted mom was Barbara, Abby’s mom. For Christian, it is Carol. I’m grateful for both Carol and Barbara.

Today Christian and I went to Carol’s house to join their family in celebrating Faith's (Carol’s daughter) graduation. Carol had cookie monster cupcakes. I’m wondering if I can proclaim another adopted mom at the age of 43.

Day 4 – May 20
Listening to: Pleasure Principle
Thought For the Day: I just can’t imagine a world without the soft glow of incandescent lighting (the bulbs will be banned starting next year)!

I was noticing today that some cicadanations are much louder than others. I wondered if the cicadas treated each tree like a bar or club to pick up a mate. Some bars/clubs are more popular than others. Is it the same with mac-daddy cicadas and trees?

There are very few cicadas in my yard. A merry band of mockingbirds fly to the apex of my house every night to survey my yard which is a cicada-less island in the middle of a cicada ocean. Either the merry band of mockingbirds are keeping the clumsy bugs at bay, or my lack of trees makes my property more like a church where you wouldn’t go and bleat out your mating call after a few martinis.

Each night, the merry band of mocking birds do cover songs of all the local bird tunes while sitting on the house. I’ve yet to hear them mimic a cicada's mating call.

btw: If you're no where near Nashville, you should note that the thousands of light brown peanut-looking things in this picture are Cicada skins. CRUNCH.

Day 5 – May 19
Listening to: Bust a Move
Thought for the day: Goodwill makes everything American-made.

Last week while I was in an affluent part of town, an affluent woman approached me and praised my affluent dress. Actually, she gushed more about the cuteness of my dress versus its affluence factor. She then asked me where I bought the dress. Without hesitation, I said with a bubbly non-affluent giggle, “Goodwill.” The look on her face was priceless. I LOVE GOODWILL!!!

Tonight I visited my beloved store and experienced something I’ve only experienced one time before. I saw a piece of clothing from my past. The first time it happened, I found one of the bridesmaid’s dresses from my wedding (I even know which bridesmaid it came from). Tonight, I found half of a suit I bought straight out of college to interview (dress in middle of photo white/blue). It’s missing the jacket and they’re trying to sell it as a dress. Wonder what happened to the other half? Maybe it’s hanging out with all of the bastard socks lost in the world’s dryers.

Day 6 – May 18
Listening to: Let My Love Open the Door
Thought for the day: We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. ~ Epicurus

Wednesday Night Dinner Group: MAFIAoZA'S

Eating low-carb in a GOOD Italian restaurant is akin to threading a Tootsie Roll through the eye of a needle. It puts the “cult” in DIFFICULT! I opted for the Bolognese sauce sans pasta with some veggies tossed in the mix (photo left). It was very good. Guess what? I didn’t miss one, single, solitary, slurpy spaghetti noodle!

My friend Jo Ann ordered the meatballs (photo right). She only ate two. She put the uneaten portion in a take-away container. Balls in a box…………should I be jealous?

http://www.mafiaozas.com/

Day 7 - May 17
Listening to: Amazing
Thought for the day: ONE MORE WEEK! I'm on the home stretch to completing the 365 journal!!!! :-)

Do I really need to write about this picture? No I don’t, but you know I’m going to.

I had a 20 ton bucket of judgment weighing on my mind when I saw the back of this car………… yeah I know.......not good. Since I try to find the good in people, I want to assume that the creator of the 5/21/11 movement has attention deficit disorder and missed the “I will come like a thief” part of the Bible (found in Thessalonians, Revelations, Peter, and Corinthians). ADD happens!

Day 8 – May 16
Listening to: Every (Cicada) Wants to Rule the World (cicadas cover of Tears for Fears hit)
Thought for the day: Tomatoes must be cicada-licious!!!!

Look! A cicada-mata! The cicada-mata proves no surface is off limits when it comes to shedding the cicada skin. It’s kind of odd to see one lone shell like this one. Most trees look like a cicadanation has divided and conquered with thousands of skins covering the trunk and ground. Maybe the cicada-mata cicada knows single people live at this address and it is okay to be a single cicada.

Day 9 – May 15
Listening to: Rocket Man
Thought for the day: From bowties to a man named Brickhead, duct tape is a miracle of life.

Oddly enough, back on day 300 when I was chaperoning at band camp I wrote about the uses of duct tape as it applied to marching band. Is it duct or duck? I even included a link to a list of conventional and unorthodox uses for duct tape. I don’t think the duct-tape bowtie was among the uses. Last night a bunch of the McGavock Band guys showed up at the band banquet sporting a bouquet of neon bowties. Could this be bowtie couture? Their creativity blew me away.

I’m a bit surprised on day 300 that I failed to mention that a coworker of mine a long time ago busted his head open and used duct tape to seal his wound. He earned the name Brickhead for his bravery.

Day 10 – May 14
Listening to: You’ve Got a Friend
Thought for the day: This one time…………….at the band banquet…….

Photo: Senior McGavock High School band members being honored.

Christian’s senior year is coming to a close. Tonight, Christian, John (her father), and I attended the McGavock High School Band Banquet to celebrate the band's accomplishments. On the way home, the conversation went like this:

Me: I can’t believe your four years are over.
Christian: Me either.
Me: It’s gone by so fast.
Christian and Me simultaneously: It’s so surreal.
Christian: You must feel old.

Truth is, I’m not sure how I feel. I feel pride, joy, hopefulness, relief, freedom, sadness, fear, and a wistful longing to go back to a world where my children are toddlers. It’s a feeling buffet!!!! If I add a few more emotions in the mixture along with a dash of salt, we’d have a feeling casserole and it’d probably taste like chicken.

Day 11 – May 13
Listening to: Time
Thought for the day: HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE EVE BEVERLY!!!

I attended Bevapaloosa tonight, a party to celebrate the birthday of my dear friend Beverly. It’s not a party until someone breaks out the reading glasses……………or not. Actually, I think the saying goes “it’s not a party until someone spills a drink, loses an eye, shoots bottle rockets out of their pants, eats a cicada, or the coleslaw arrives.” Take your pick. Reading glasses are good party conversation though…………. among the elderly………. like my coworker/friend, Russ, featured in today’s photo with yours truly. Another coworker/friend Donnie, aka KOOLAID, offered me $2 to eat a cicada at the party. Reading glasses and cicada noshing..............I'm a party animal.

Day 12 – May 12
Listening to: Go Rest High
Thought for the day: We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. ~Christopher Morley

I realized today that from here on out I probably will only see both of my children simultaneously on holidays and at funerals/weddings. Just smack me in the face with empty nest syndrome and call it a day! It was the funeral of their Grandpa Howard that brought the three of us together today.

I found out that I have something in common with Howard. During the eulogy, the preacher kept saying “Harold” instead of “Howard.” If you remember, I wrote back December that forgetful peeps ALWAYS call me “Kim.” When the service was over, Wes said, “When you die, your preacher won’t mess your name up.” He failed to realize that I go to a United Methodist Church and the UMC changes preachers like underwear. I am fairly certain I will be called Kim in my eulogy. This is a good reason to name your child something like BonQuisha.

Day 13 – May 11
Listening to: Reeling in the Years
Thought for the day: The Fab Lab is eagerly awaiting her first cicada snack. It's like Cicada Eve at our house.

Wednesday Dinner Group – Hermitage Steak House

If Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar and Hermitage Steak House’s salad bar had salad bar sex and created a salad bar baby, it would be THE consummate salad bar. It’s actually rather simple. Ruby’s has the croutons and HSH has the smoked oysters. If I was reincarnated as an oyster, I’d want to be smoked and put on HSH’s salad bar. It’d be an honor. I am sure their oysters are fresh out of can chock full of linseed oil. I eat smoked oysters out of the can all of the time, but they’re just different at HSH. It’s like eating a PBJ I made vs. eating one my Mom lovingly assembled. Regardless, I wanted to scoot my chair up to the salad bar in front of the oysters and feast.

Oh yeah………. There ate some steak at this place too and it was good.

Day 14 – May 10
Listening to: Dreamweaver
Thought for the day: People living deeply have no fear of death. ~Anaiïs Nin, Diary, 1967

Photo: Wes, Christian, and Howard Brummett

Howard Brummett, my children’s grandfather passed away today. His kindness toward me never faltered. I hurt for my children. I hurt for the Brummetts. Howard turned 80-years-old in January. He said that if he’d known he was going to live so long he would have taken better care of himself. That’s the thing. Howard lived and he lived fully. He wasn’t afraid to die.

Typically, my employer provides time off for employees to attend family funerals. I asked if I could have time off to attend Howard's funeral and was told "no" because he is an “ex” family member. Howard was not “ex” to me. I still considered him family and I will be at his funeral regardless of a stupid corporate policy.

I’m so grateful my children grew up with a grandfather like Howard. They will carry him in their hearts forever.

Day 15 – May 9
Listening to: We Are Family
Thought for the day: Happy Birthday Mom!!! I Love You!

Yesterday was Mother’s day and today is my mom’s birthday. It’s a double dose of a Momelebration! I’m posting a picture of some roses in her honor. Is the fact that someone else plucked these roses for me a form of re-gifting? Regardless, my mom is a rose among roses and she is thorn-less! She put up with enough crap from me growing up that she deserves a Texas-sized bucket of roses.

These roses come from an ancestral line of almost 90 years. One of my coworkers picked them for me and probably didn’t realize the history behind them. At one time, DuPont employed someone specifically to take care of the roses. The roses use to be abundant, but after years of reorganization, annihilation, and increased security via new state-of-the art fences only a few of the bushes remain. To read more about one of the employees who was recognized for his rose care at DuPont see http://oldhickoryrecord.com/rayonjob.htm

Day 16 – May 8
Listening to: You Can Dance If You Want To
Thought for the day: In the words of the beautiful Angela Crimmons, “Happy Mom's Day to all moms, grandmas, and pawmoms!”

I guess you’d have to be living in a cave to not know today is mother’s day. I was flattened by the steam roller of sadness when I saw on Facebook how many of my friend’s mothers are no longer alive. It dawned on me that though I don’t see or talk to my mom much, I can’t imagine her not being just a phone call away.

When I was in the 6th grade, my teacher, Mr. Easterly (one of my faves), asked us to write about our parents. I wrote about my mom. In its 6th grade simplicity, it still carries a mother load of meaning today.

Mr. Easterly’s 6th Grade Writing Assignment

My Parents

I live with my mom. She has many good things about her. The best things about her are; she comforts me when I feel down, and tells me funny things to perk me up.

My mom taught me many things I am thankful for today.

Of course she also buys clothes for me and feeds me and takes me wherever I need to go, although I’m mostly thankful for her being there when I need help.

I’m thankful for many small things too.

I love my mom very much and I’m thankful for all the things she has done to make me happy.

Day 17 – May 7
Listening to: Sister Christian
Thought for the day: Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. ~Astrid Alauda

Tonight was Christian’s prom. I’m not sure what to say or think. I kind of feel like I’m having an out of body experience seeing my youngest child's childhood come to a close. Where has the time gone? Forget feeling like she was born yesterday. That "just yesterday" feeling belongs to me going to my senior prom. Feeling a tinge of the melancholy, I retrieved my prom dress out the depths of my closet tonight to see if it still fits. YES I WAS BORED. It fit, but was very tight. It looked like a big frothy piece of polyester yellow meringue pie on me. I’m glad I kept it. I will keep Christian’s dress for her future reminiscing exercises.

Day 18 – May 6
Listening to: Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto 1 - B Flat Minor (doughnut eating music)
Thought for the day: Dieting is a Cheaterous Thang

You know how in the cartoons when two characters are stranded somewhere without food, one character always sees the other character as a giant ham or roasted chicken? If you had been stranded on a deserted island with me this week, I would have imagined you as a giant pack of chocolate doughnut gems. As I mentioned before, I’m on a short-term diet. I must say the low carb approach is the easiest approach to dieting I’ve ever attempted, but occasionally this week I have fantasized about chocolate doughnut gems…………………. nothing else……………….no tootsie rolls, no chocolate kisses, not even peanut butter……………..just chocolate doughnut gems. This particular diet has a cheat day built into it. My cheat day is tomorrow. Guess what I am eating?