Day 16 – May 8
Listening to: You Can Dance If You Want To
Thought for the day: In the words of the beautiful Angela Crimmons, “Happy Mom's Day to all moms, grandmas, and pawmoms!”

I guess you’d have to be living in a cave to not know today is mother’s day. I was flattened by the steam roller of sadness when I saw on Facebook how many of my friend’s mothers are no longer alive. It dawned on me that though I don’t see or talk to my mom much, I can’t imagine her not being just a phone call away.

When I was in the 6th grade, my teacher, Mr. Easterly (one of my faves), asked us to write about our parents. I wrote about my mom. In its 6th grade simplicity, it still carries a mother load of meaning today.

Mr. Easterly’s 6th Grade Writing Assignment

My Parents

I live with my mom. She has many good things about her. The best things about her are; she comforts me when I feel down, and tells me funny things to perk me up.

My mom taught me many things I am thankful for today.

Of course she also buys clothes for me and feeds me and takes me wherever I need to go, although I’m mostly thankful for her being there when I need help.

I’m thankful for many small things too.

I love my mom very much and I’m thankful for all the things she has done to make me happy.

Day 17 – May 7
Listening to: Sister Christian
Thought for the day: Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. ~Astrid Alauda

Tonight was Christian’s prom. I’m not sure what to say or think. I kind of feel like I’m having an out of body experience seeing my youngest child's childhood come to a close. Where has the time gone? Forget feeling like she was born yesterday. That "just yesterday" feeling belongs to me going to my senior prom. Feeling a tinge of the melancholy, I retrieved my prom dress out the depths of my closet tonight to see if it still fits. YES I WAS BORED. It fit, but was very tight. It looked like a big frothy piece of polyester yellow meringue pie on me. I’m glad I kept it. I will keep Christian’s dress for her future reminiscing exercises.

Day 18 – May 6
Listening to: Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto 1 - B Flat Minor (doughnut eating music)
Thought for the day: Dieting is a Cheaterous Thang

You know how in the cartoons when two characters are stranded somewhere without food, one character always sees the other character as a giant ham or roasted chicken? If you had been stranded on a deserted island with me this week, I would have imagined you as a giant pack of chocolate doughnut gems. As I mentioned before, I’m on a short-term diet. I must say the low carb approach is the easiest approach to dieting I’ve ever attempted, but occasionally this week I have fantasized about chocolate doughnut gems…………………. nothing else……………….no tootsie rolls, no chocolate kisses, not even peanut butter……………..just chocolate doughnut gems. This particular diet has a cheat day built into it. My cheat day is tomorrow. Guess what I am eating?

Day 19– May 5
Listening to: I Don’t Care Anymore
Thought for the day: My friend Johnny Ellis mentioned my “thought for the day” in passing today. I asked him for words of wisdom to include in today’s thought. He said, “Stay out of jail.” Wise man that Johnny Ellis.

From the strange truck creepin’ on my house last night to the strange email from a friend’s ex-boyfriend that flopped like a dying fish into my inbox today to this strange site at the gas station, I was served up a heapin’ helpin’ of strange casserole today…………..sans cheese. I don’t know about you, but this site makes me think of George Jones.

I wondered if this man conserved any gas by driving his lawn mower to the gas station. How many MPG does a mower get anyway? Based on a quick trip down Google Lane I found out that a John Deere riding mower gets about the same MPG as a car. So why NOT drive the mower to the gas station? I have wondered if gas gets really expensive if people will stop mowing. I think one of my neighbors has already decided gas is too expensive to mow. His yard is becoming a safari.

Day 20– May 4
Listening to: Can’t Live
Thought for the day: Don't mind me. I have chips for brains.

Ah! Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee…………..
Have I told you how much I love Mexican restaurant tortilla chips? Of course I have. I love them so much I’m repeating a picture from February 23 because the Wednesday Night Dinner Club returned to La Hacienda where this picture was taken the first time. I have chips for brains tonight…………..and not from eating too many. Despite my deep, undying love for chips………..A miracle happened tonight. I DID NOT EAT ONE SINGLE CHIP. NOT ONE CRUMB. I didn’t even lick the salt off of one until it was soggy. I started a low carb diet on Sunday and have been doing so well that I couldn’t hijack my progress. DANG it was difficult. Will I last on this diet? Probably not, but I'm trying.

Day 22 – May 3
Listening to: Time in A Bottle
Thought for the day: “Oh, the humanity and all the passengers screaming around here. Ah! It's–it's–it's–it's ... o–ohhh! I–I can't talk, ladies and gentlemen.” ~Herbert Morrison reporting on the Hindenburg.

I hate it when I know I own something and can’t find it There is a picture of me with my mother that I am searching for to post on my 365 on Mother’s Day ………and ………..I………….CAN’T………….FIND…

………IT. BIG FROWNY FACE!!! I can see it in my head just as clear as day. It’s too bad we can’t make photographs of our thoughts or memories. Some day in a galaxy, far, far away this fantasy will be a reality.

In my feverish search for the photograph, I unearthed one of my college papers from my senior year at MTSU. Unlike the photo of my mom and me, I don’t remember writing this paper. It’s titled “How the Media Covered the Hindenburg Disaster.” I received 47 points out of 50…….hmmm……..must be interesting. I wouldn’t know because for some reason I can’t bring myself to read it.

The professor commented that he wished I’d forget the words “furthermore” and “however.” If he saw my writing today, he’d ask that I forget the ellipsis. I am a chronic ellipsis user/abuser if you haven’t noticed.

Day 23 – May 2
Listening to: Through the Fire
Thought for the day: “If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.” ~Jay Leno

I put clean water out for Pearl the fab Lab every day. Despite my attempts to prevent my parched pup from partaking in potty punch, she does occasionally go to the toilet for a slurp. What draws her to the toilet? She likes to eat kitty Roca, so it really shouldn’t surprise me. I sometimes wonder if dogs see toilet water as gourmet………like a large Cherry Icee or commode cocktail. Thankfully, Pearl is not a licker. I don’t have to worry about her sliming me after taking a tongue dip in the toilet. Still, it’s a bit on the level of ……………….gross.