Day 182 - Nov. 29
Listening to: Wheel in the Sky
Thought for today: We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. ~Plato

According to Wikipedia, owls are divided into two groups: Strigidae (typical owls) and Tytonidae (barn owls). Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Stop the presses! They forgot the third group, Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia (fake plastic owls). The owl featured in today’s photo is no ghetto fake owl! This one is in possession of flashing eyes that burst forth with laser-like beams when any motion is detected. I encountered this particular plastic companion of Athena on a late -night walk over the weekend. When its red eyes zeroed in on me I thought, “Cool, a magic owl. Dear owl, please bring me a fire place, a flat stomach, and a Jon Hamm blowup doll.” I can tell you without doubt no wisdom flowed forth from this counterfeit creature. I’ll let you know if its magic is more forthcoming.

Seriously, the duty of this particular variety of Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia is to serve as an imaginary danger to vermin that encounter it. When I saw it, I giggled because I know the danger is not real. Hmmmmm……… I wonder how many metaphorical Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia are in my life. What am I afraid of that is imagined? Do we have a couple of hours to talk?

Check out this cute baby owl video posted by my friend Wendy! http://www.wimp.com/owlhunts/

Day 183 - Nov. 28
Listening to: Got to Be Real
Thought for the Day: One man's trash is another man's treasure!

The neighbors behind me either cleaned out their attic or their basement over the weekend. I’m relieved they are not hoarders. The neighbor that lived next to me at my prior address was evicted for hoarding dead animals and having garbage stacked to the ceiling. She made the people on the Hoarders show look like neat freaks.

The problem with my anti-hoarding neighbors is they put the stuff they are chunking out on my side of the garbage aisle. For a control freak like me, this is a problem. I have anxiety. What if the garbage men don’t pick up all of this stuff? What if the garbage men think that I am the one responsible for making them work harder? .............breathe..... I know I’m silly, or crazy, or both.

This morning the scene in the photo unfolded before my eyes. I watched this man methodically go through my neighbor’s crap. I was amazed at some of the stuff he was rescuing. There was some nice stuff in that pile! Anyway, judging by the truck the man was driving, he was by no means destitute……………or was he? I wonder about people who scavenge through neighborhood trash. They’re either really needy or they have a side business. Regardless, it’s a lesson in swallowing pride whole............. no chewing.

I suppose I should dispose of some pride, be a better neighbor, and welcome the trash................................ until trash pickup day that is.

Day 186 - Nov. 25
Listening to: Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Thought for the day: Gluttony lives here.

AHHH……..nothing like electric sex and leftover Thanksgiving food on the counter-top. Is this not a beautiful site? Wendell, this picture is for you!

I had a wonderful meal and visit with my mom and step dad today and am thankful! In honor of this day, I’m going to repeat the list I keep posted on my Facebook info page that names what makes my life whole.

I'm thankful for God, my family, my friends (both Republican AND Democrat), Pearl, Diet Coke, pianos, ballet, dogs, peanut butter, Letterman, McDonalds french fries, green bean casserole, my 12th grade English teacher (Dr. Estes), McKids & Mcfamily, Claire de Lune, Dr. Jackson at MTSU, RAM, Sunday afternoon phone calls from Dad, summer, red wine, Wednesday night dinner crew, snowflakes, Mozart, NPR, trombones, the smell of Christmas, Yosemite, Beavis and Butthead, bubble gum, GOLF, Vivaldi, Monet and Manet, Madrid, REAL hugs (no pansy-ass ones), the smell of coffee, sunrises, funny text messages, Cookie Monster, tropical beaches, teenagers, grandmothers, 401K plans, angels, harpsichords, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, warm summer nights, moonlight, fried okra, cathedrals, Christmas music, electricity, the sound a driver makes when it hits the ball, spaghetti, Mary Cassatt, DuPont, my queen size pillow top super-sweet mattress, ponytail holders, lunch-time walks, chocolate, cell phones, Cambridge England, flannel sheets, laugh lines, and those little poky things that you stick in the end of corn on the cob!

Note: Just in case you have never seen the movie A Christmas Story, the "electric sex" and the leg lamp are from that movie. :-)

Day 188 – Nov. 23
Listening to: Let This Groove
Thought for the day: To the outside world we all grow old but not to a brother or sister. We know each other as we always were.

Tale of the Tabasco Terrorist

The first five and a half years of Jimmy’s life were heaven, nirvana, peace on Earth……………and then the sister was born. At first, Jimmy liked the concept of having a sister, but life as he knew rapidly declined as she grew into a prissy, annoying, hell on wheels. As peace deteriorated, a sister jihad was born.

It all began one December………………. a long, long time ago. The mom brought home a box of ice cream popsicles. These weren’t your regular popsicles; each was shaped in the form of a Santa Claus with a stick up its butt. Both Jimmy and the sister gobbled them up as if nuclear annihilation was imminent.

One night after dinner, Jimmy and the sister both raced to the freezer to get a frozen Santa Claus. Tensions mounted as both realized there was only one left in the box. Feuding ensued. The mom stepped in and with Winston Churchillesque diplomacy firmly stated neither child could have the last Santa Claus.

For whatever reason, as the night wore on, the mom decided that the sister would be the recipient of the last Santa Claus. Accepting defeat, Jimmy quietly volunteered to get it for the sister (plotting her demise the entire time). While in the kitchen, he covertly poured Tabasco sauce all over the Santa’s vanilla beard and strawberry body. The sister was innocent and clueless. She eagerly took the treat from her brother and began to greedily gobble it up. Jimmy knew victory was near. In a matter of seconds, the sister’s face contorted into a gargoyle-ish expression which was followed by a bratty-sister air-siren scream. The mom grabbed the uneaten portion of the Santa and immediately began the crime scene investigation.

Realizing what Jimmy had done, the mom demanded that he ingest two tablespoons of the pepper sauce as punishment. He swallowed the blazing hot liquid with an evil smile………………one battle down, many more to go.

Note from the author (me):
Jimmy and I laugh about this story now. Today is his birthday, so I decided to retell it with some flair. Aside from beating me up a time or two and causing one minor concussion, he was and still is a very good brother.

Day 189 - Nov. 22
Listening to: Been Around the World (an I, I, I)
Thought for the day: Beware of the zombie pumpkin this pre-Christmas season!

Meet the zombie pumpkins. Their brains have been gutted, their lights extinguished, and their innards are a slimy, sloppy mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don't stalk the streets of Old Hickory eating blowup Christmas lawn decorations. Most likely these dying gourds are the result of laziness versus corporate product testing to find a new pumpkin lacquer that will make them last, and last, and last.

Laziness was not the cause of the zombie pumpkin that stalked the streets of Costa Mesa, California back in the 80s. One Halloween, my physicist father decided to conduct a scientific experiment involving our family and the Halloween pumpkin. We carved the pumpkin, we lit it, everyone said trick or treat, dawn broke the next day, and the pumpkin sat on the porch, sat on the porch, and sat on the porch. My dad’s goal was to see how long it would take for someone in the family to take the initiative to throw away the pumpkin. No one ever did. Rumor is that it still roams the streets in search of women who have had too much plastic surgery, or blow up lawn decorations.

Day 192 - Nov. 19
Listening to: Margaritaville
Thought for the day: How do you tell if a turtle is male or female?

I have spent the last two weeks during my lunch break trying to catch a glimpse of the two bald eagles that treat my employer's property as a Sandals Resort for eagles during the winter. Other coworkers have seen them, but not me. They must know I’m paparazzi and avoid me. Anyway….I never saw the eagles, but I did meet up with this turtlesaurus rex.

While I was talking to the turtle prepping him/her for our photo shoot, a jeep pulled up loaded with a couple of handsome men that I’ve never seen. My first thought was, “what are these handsome men doing back here in the woods?” The driver rolled the jeep window down and said to me, “what are you doing back here in the woods?” I never found out their reason for invading my walking path, but they did tell me that this BAT (big ass turtle) was a snapping turtle. I suppose it’s a good thing I didn’t get too close to test their claim. I’d hate to have to report to our safety office that I had been mauled by a BAT.

On my way back to Cubicle Caverns I started imagining how many fishing poles this BAT has broken in his/her lifetime. You could tell just looking at him/her that he/she has a penchant for bait. I’m sure he/she has also caused many a fisherman to think they’ve caught “the big one.”

Day 195 - Nov. 16
Listening to: Ron Howse broadcasting the weather
Thought for the day: A pessimist sees the poop in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every poop. ~Winston Churchill

Well here it is……..the ultimate gift for the pet-loving peep who has everything. Sigh. This must be a service for either the extremely wealthy, the neighbor that keeps a herd of cattle on their manicured front lawn, or the casual owner of an elephant named Earl. Who in their right mind would hire a pooper scooper service? My reaction to this business is just proof that I am down to Earth. Anyway, more power to these people. They are their own bosses. If they can make a living picking up poop, who am I to hate?

This photo was taken this morning and provides a hint of just how freaking gross the weather has been in Nashville today………..cold, wet, cold, and NASTY. I need a fireplace. Santa? God? Anyone? :-)

Day 196 – Nov. 15
Listening to: Fire and Rain
Thought for the day: Why does the dental hygienist always try to have a conversation with me?

Clean Teeth and Dirty Hair

I haven’t washed my hair in three days and it feels ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, DE FACTO…………….NASSSSSSSSTY. My mop didn’t hit category 4 of nastiness until around 5 p.m. (photo was taken at 7 p.m.) I’m perplexed. How did women go for so long without washing their hair back in the day? I think my hair probably has enjoyed its small journey toward dreadlockdom, but the anti-wash period will end promptly tomorrow as long as my head doesn't slide off my pillow and cause brain damage.

Despite the dirty hair, I have some cleeeeeeeeean teeth. I went to the dentist today for my 6 month cleaning. I’m happy to report that I have zero cavities and the cleaning was finished in record time. Four years ago, the report wasn’t so good. I walked out with four cavities. I became an obsessive flosser after that day. I’m here to tell you flossing has had a HUGE impact on my dental life. Why oh why didn’t I listen when I was younger?

As you can see, not much happened today…………………

Day 198, Nov. 12
Listening to: Someone to Watch Over Me
Thought for the day: Yes Virginia, there is a God………….and he is not Santa Claus.

This photo is not the photo I took to represent November 12, 2010, but it represents my state of mind today. The little girl in this picture is me back in the stone age.

I park on the street because I have no driveway or garage. As a result, warming my car up in the morning is a necessity when the temps plummet. A while back I decided to start using the wait time to pray. My prayers are usually very similar from day to day, but not today. I don’t know why I embarked on a prayer departure. I began my prayer with words of gratitude, moved on to blessing requests, prayed for my children and sick friends, and then it happened. I started asking God for stuff. After I said, “Amen,” I sat there a minute and thought to myself, “Did I just talk to God like He was Santa Claus? I believe I did.” I was a bit perplexed all day. I came to the conclusion that God wants us to talk to Him about everything including our wants.

Of course in my laundry list of wants this morning, I asked Santa Claus God to bring me a fireplace. If God was like the Santa Claus on the movie A Christmas Story he’d probably say to me, “you’ll burn your house down,” or “there’s a nice fireplace downstairs.”

The picture I intended for today - Moon Over Autumn

Day 199 - Nov. 11
Listening to: Hero
Thought for the day: Freedom is never free.

One of my favorite veterans.........

This is Red Dean with his new bride in 1949. I love this photo because there is no hint of the unimaginable cruelty Red had suffered just five years earlier. Red is a WWII Prisoner of War and Purple Heart recipient.

Red was captured on Christmas Eve in 1944 and spent six months in a German POW camp. His imprisonment began with a 4-day march without food. He and his fellow prisoners were beaten, slept on a dirt floor, witnessed the shootings of other prisoners , and were basically starved. ''Each day, we would have one raw turnip. Twice a week, we would have a piece of black bread that we found out later was made of sawdust. But we ate it. And twice a week, we had a cup of potato-peeling soup,” Red told a Tennessean reporter in 2008.

My favorite thing about Red? He has not wasted one second of his life since his release in 1945. He married, had a family, graduated from college and worked as a civilian until he retired. At 90, he continues to serve his church, volunteer tirelessly, and he never misses an opportunity to honor his country. Red exemplifies all that is good about this country.

A fun fact about Red..............
He is believed to be the oldest living Vanderbilt fan. He has been attending football, basketball, and baseball games since the 1960. Here is an article about Red's claim to Vandy fan fame.... http://www.dupontalumni.org/articles/article89.htm

Day 201 - Nov. 9
Listening to: Don't Stop Believing
Thought for the day: If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

In many ways, this fractured computer represents my life right now. In a literal sense, I thought this cracked computer was my future before today. This is a story about a lesson in faith for me.

When I went to turn my computer on Saturday, it was dead. I didn't even receive the complimentary blue screen of death. The computer tower was DING DONG DEAD. My immediate reaction was one of straight-up panic. I rely heavily on my computer for work, volunteer work, and of course socializing.

I pulled out my troubleshooting guide and tried everything imaginable to resuscitate the poor thing. I even offered it a Kit Kat……..still, nothing. So, I begrudgingly pulled out my cracked Dell baby laptop (seen in this photo) . said a small ”thank you” that at least online socializing could be salvaged, and I started scheming about how to buy a new computer. In the end, I decided a new computer was out of the question. I just didn’t see it happening, so I started devising a plan on how to survive with the cracked baby laptop.

Meanwhile, in the back of my head, there was voice saying, “don’t give up on the big daddy computer.” The voice hung around until Monday, so I tried starting it up again and still……………..zzzzzzzzzzz………nothing. Fortunately, there was one sign of life. There was a green flashing light on the back of the computer tower. Yesterday, I decided to Google, “green flashing light” and “computer won’t start.” Low and behold, I stumbled on others who had the same problem. Many had used an unorthodox tool to fix the problem.............a hair dryer. A hairdryer? At first, I thought it was a joke. With nothing to lose, I decided to try it.

When I got home, I plugged in the hairdryer and blasted the back of the tower with hot air. Three minutes later I tried pushing the start button. NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!! I walked away from the computer, started to cry, and started to play the "woes me" messages in my head............ “everything in your life is broken, why do you even bother with faith, you don’t deserve things to go right, blah blah blah BLAH.” Somewhere in the middle of my mental blubbering, another voice said, “Try starting the computer again.” I did. The computer came to life.

I constantly struggle with faith, but it’s these silly lessons that always slap me back where I need to be.

website that helped:
http://www.fixya.com/support/t991058-green_light_blinking_back_system_unit

Day 205 - Nov. 5
Listening to: Goodbye Stranger
Thought for the day: History must be written of, by and for the survivors.

A teensy weensy part of my job requires me to play history detective. I absolutely LOVE this part of my job. Usually the assignment involves finding pictures of someone’s grandfather or great grandfather. This time, our HR department asked me to find info on an employee from days gone by. Their request required me to bury my head in this book which contains approximately 5 years of company newsletters (I have all of the newsletters going back to 1918). When I dive into one of these books, my ADD is completely silenced.

The most interesting find for me today was not in this book. My search also required me to sift through a long-lost filing cabinet. In the cabinet, I discovered hundreds of old index cards that had been recycled for another purpose. The original use of the cards was to identify retired employees by retirement date, birth date, and reason for retirement. All of births were listed as ’80 or ’75……………and that would be 1880 or 1875. All of them had retired in the 1940s. I had a creepy-feeling moment when I realized the hundreds of IDs that I held in my hand belonged to people that are now dead. Shiver.

Listening to: 1-2-3
Thought for the day: I spotted the first home-based Christmas tree today……….. on my street. UGGH. BAAAH UGGGH.

I wonder how many times the lottery has been a sequential number. Everyone wants to win it. Get in line behind me because I will win! So what would you do if you won $123 million? I would help my family/friends obviously, but I’ve also whole heartedly committed to paying the college tuition for two very deserving young women (they know who they are), buying a Gucci-designed nurse’s uniform for a nurse friend of mine (she knows who she is), providing life-time vet coverage for my dog owner angels (they know who they are), and taking all ya’ll on a cruise (you know who all ya’ll are).

The minute I saw this sign today, the song 1-2-3 (Len Barry version) stuck in my head like brown paper towels in the toilet. I went to You Tube to have a listen. Guess how many songs are labeled either 1-2-3 or 1-2-3-4? That number would be 751,000 ……..less than the lottery jackpot, but hey………I’d take $751,000 too!

Of course then I see something like this……….
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/atlantic/maritime-community-hits-jackpot-as-lottery-winners-give-away-prize/article1785586/

………….and I wonder.

Day 207 - Nov. 3
Listening to: Pie Jesu
Thought for the day: Mexican tonight –I feel shellacked

Wednesday Night Dinner Club – La Hacienda

I already said I like eating at the hole in the wall Chinese joints where you question if the meat is beef or cat. I ALSO like eating at hole in the wall Mexican joints………………………where you question if the meat is beef or cat. Why do the beers and margaritas always taste better at these dark strip mall caverns of grease, cheese, salsa, chips, chips, and chips? Tonight, I tried something different I ordered fish tacos. YUM. Was it fish though? Tasted like fish, smelled like fish, looked like fish……………..cats probably do too.

I can’t tell you what everyone else ordered mainly because I cannot pronounce any of it. The pal sitting next to me ordered some kind of marinated fish with a copious amount of steamed vegetables on top. Sounds healthy, I know, and it was except we’d consumed at least four baskets of chip! I’m so full, but I think I have room for……….this one………..little…………….mint…………

Day 208 - Nov. 2
Listening to: If you See a Chance Take It
Thought for the day: “Voting is a civic sacrament.” ~Theodore Hesburgh

I voted today. (Insert silly tone of voice) I voted for a few Democrats, a few Republicans, but most importantly I voted to allow some kind of amendment to guarantee my constitutional right to fish and hunt in the great state of Tennessee. WHHHAAATTTT......... I almost burst out laughing in the polling place when I read the amendment..............only in Tennessee.

I have grown tired of political noise over the past few months, so I basically turned off any political passion I ever had. Dangerous, I know. Anyway, I KNEW I wanted to vote for Mike Turner for state representative. He has been a tremendous asset to the state of Tennessee and my community………and I absolutely love his family. I hope one of his three daughters will aspire to go into politics some day.

Day 209 - Nov. 1
Listening to: Daniel
Thought for the day: My body responded like a crack baby while eating this bowl of veggies.

LOOK……….I can follow a recipe! I cooked!!!! You might want to stock up on water and ammunition because the end of Earth as we know it may be near.

Today I ended my 110+ day of eating nothing but fast food, an occasional chunk of spaghetti, and frozen pizza. I can tell you that the moment the first spoonful of this vegetable soup touched my lips, my body responded with extreme greed.

Not long ago, a good friend of mine pointed out to me the misuse of the word “organic.” See http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/08/i-hate-organic/ for a sound discussion on how society has raped the word “organic." I wish I could tell you I made organic vegetable soup tonight, but instead I’m just going to say I made orgasmic vegetable soup to avoid any controversy. My body may implode from the consumption of real and healthy food. DuPont copeeps consider yourselves warned.