Day 261 - Sept 10
Listening to: Levon
Thought for the day: If only I had a heart, a brain, and a kick-ass pair of red shoes……..

Last week I went for a physical. My heart rate was 39. This beggarly beat landed my butt in a cardiologist’s office today. When the cardiologist’s nurse took my blood pressure she told me she couldn’t find my pulse with the stethoscope. I started thinking, “OHHH EMMMM GEEEE……….I am the freaking GRINCH!!! I KNEW IT!” I glanced down at my skin to make sure I wasn’t green. She then took my pulse, raised an eyebrow, and said, “Your heart rate is low.” I said, “Give me a box of cookies and we can remedy that right here, right now!” I know this because I have experience in consuming large quantities of cookies.

Then, the doctor came in, listened to my heart and told me I had a slight murmur. He proceeded to describe my murmur in terms that made my heart sound very much like a slow toilet trying to flush its contents. Despite a toilet for a heart, he declared me healthy. I have to jump through one more medical hoop before his ruling is official. A stress test has been scheduled to confirm what he suspects...........that I have a heart that is a turtle in the race of life…………..or a slow-flushing toilet!