Day 111 - Feb. 11 (hee hee.......111 on Feb. 11 SAWEET)
Listening to: Express Yourself (Madonna, not Lady G.)
Thought for the day: Business in the front, party in the back!

OK. Here it goes. I’ve been saving this story for the right moment. Tonight’s the night. It’s a story I need to capture for my grandchildren. I bring you................... The Tale of the Joe Diffie Tour jacket.

First let me say, I have never had any desire to write song lyrics and don’t imagine myself to be a lyricist. With that said, I entered the Sparkle paper towel jingle competition back in the 90s not to be “discovered,” but rather to win the grand prize, two tickets to the CMA Awards. The rules were simple. There was a word count requirement, it had to be written on a Sparkle paper towel, and you had to use the word “Sparkle” in the lyrics. I sent in a billion entries………….each one sillier than the last.

A month or so after I had entered the contest, I forgot about it. Then one day I received a notice in the mail from the post office that an attorney had sent me a certified letter. I flat out freaked thinking someone had sued me. With trepidation, I went to the post office. Turns out I had “placed” in the Sparkle paper towel contest and their attorneys needed me to sign a release. No. I didn’t win the grand prize. I won an ugly-ass Joe Diffie Tour jacket which is floating around a Goodwill near you. I wouldn’t know Joe Diffie if he walked up to me on the street…………SO I HAVE POSTED A PICTURE OF HIM (and his mullet) FOR MY 365!

Here is a sampling of my entries. I have no idea which one earned me the "major award" and I’ve spared you the agony of sharing them all. These are my two faves.

Be thankful if you can belt out a song
When things in your life have gone wrong
My voice is silent, thoughts confined to my head,
Forced to write it all on a Sparkle Napkin instead.

Can a man sparkle from inside
When he has too much to hide
Bad relationships, too much to drink
So down on his luck, he can't even think.