Day 153 - Dec. 30
Listening to: Shake Your Booty
Thought for today: After spending the day with my head buried in old documents, I’ve decided handwriting is a lost art form.

Today I went to the Tennessee State Archives to read a diary written by Lou Cretia Owen, a woman that worked at the Old Hickory Powder Plant in 1918. The Powder Plant was built by DuPont in Old Hickory, Tennessee as a joint effort with the U.S. Government to supply gunpowder to the war front during WWI.

The diary is absolutely fascinating and captures the essence of life on the home front during WWI. If you have any interest in Old Hickory, WWI, or the evolution of women in the workplace, I encourage you go read it. The picture I’m featuring along with the TSA is what we would call the Powder Plant human relations department today. This photo is about 1/5th of the actual photo. The photo lives in Cubicle Caverns (my office) and is a conversation piece. The faces are nameless. I will now imagine Lou as one of the women featured.

There is no way I can possibly capture the spirit of the diary in a summary, but there are a couple of things that stood out to me. First, there is an intense display of patriotism and pride unlike anything I have ever witnessed. Lou is also very proud to be a woman working to help her country and gain independence for herself. Second, throughout the diary we see the tremendous amount of paranoia that gripped these people. Anyone behaving out of the ordinary was suspected to be a German spy. Third, it is evident the Spanish flu wreaked havoc on the Powder Plant workers. People flooded the area so quickly for employment that it was impossible to ID everyone who died. Many that succumbed to the flu ended up in unmarked graves. Last, these people worked their asses off and their motivation was patriotism. It is incomprehensible to me the number of people it took to operate the plant, feed the workers, care for the workers, and build the village/plant. The spirit with which it was all accomplished doesn't seem to exist in this country anymore, to me anyway. It is truly sad.

The diary is on microfilm #1963 if you care to go take a peek.

Day 154 - Dec. 29
Listening to: humming Gloom Despair
Thought for today: If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

I took my Christmas tree down today and undecked the halls. Prior to doing so I pondered the possibility that it may be bad luck to take the tree down before New Years Day, 12 days………. whatever. It is definitely considered bad luck to leave it up beyond either of these days. One theory says if you have not taken the tree down by January 6 (Epiphany), the tree must remain in the house all year. ARRRRGGGHHHH………...there are so many schools of thought attached to when the tree should be removed from the house. I decided to take my chances and reminded myself I am a Christian who shouldn't subscribe to superstition.............but stillllllll.

When I dropped the tree off at the recycle location, I was smacked in the face with sadness. I felt like I was leaving behind a friend. The little tree that had made my house look so warm and inviting over the last month suddenly looked cold and out of place despite the fact it was surrounded by “friends.” I suspect I was suffering the onset of post-Christmas blues.

The fact that I had even the slightest chunk of motivation to clean up Christmas garb in a timely matter is directly due to my step father. I mention this because today is his birthday. My DNA consists 100% of slob stuff. My step father managed to reconfigure my DNA while I was a teenager insisting I make my bed every day, clean my bathroom once a week, and always fold my laundry. I’m grateful to him for teaching me these responsibilities. Happy Birthday Ron!

I will let you know how my luck runs this year……………

Day 155 - Dec. 28
Listening to: Supertramp – Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane…..
Thought for today: WOOF!

The Fab Lab blogs

Pearl’s Version:

Woof woof woof slurp grrr woof woof . RAWR woof woof slurp slurp lick woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof, slirp……………..a;lskdjf;alksdujfpoiqupow;ej

My Version:

I took Pearl to the Vet today for her rabies shot and to have her annual thyroid check. Her rabies shot was due in November…………or so I thought. The vet tech took Pearl to the back, drew her blood, brought her back to me and said, “The vet said if Pearl is doing okay you can wait until June to get her rabies shot along with her other vaccinations due at that time.” I never even saw the vet.

WHAT?

I was a bit puzzled, figured the vet knew more than me, and left. As Pearl and I pulled away from the office, I realized I have to board her in March and that she HAS to have proof of an annual rabies shot. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr. I turned that car around, went back in the office, and told the receptionist what had happened. A different vet than I was scheduled to see came in to talk to me and give her the rabies shot. With all of this said, I did a bit of research. The rabies law is CONFUSING. If I understand it correctly, Pearl really only needs a booster shot every three years. Pet owners don’t get the truth! It’s deplorable really. I am appalled at the first vet’s lack of explanation to me.

To see the law for yourself: http://drpetclinic.com/rabies.htm

Day 156 - Dec. 27
Listening to: The Joker
Thought for today: Dear Virginia, yes Santa has to leave his trash behind because it won't fit in the sleigh!

Ahemmm…………THIS……………..this is an absolute NO NO in the world of Santa Claus believers! In fact, my suspicions about Santa began when my mom forgot to toss the box for my Velvet doll. Sidebar: any of ya’ll remember the Velvet and Crissy doll? They had grow-able hair sans any weave! My Velvet doll had beautiful long blond hair until I decided to take a purple magic marker and color it. I do believe the fumes from the marker prompted me to commit such a horror. Here's a retro commercial about Crissy and Velvet http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIaxZhR2RhM

Back to the box on the side of the street………… Despite my chagrin over this parental DON’T, I was pleased to see that children still receive wagons for Christmas.

Day 157 - Dec. 26
Listening to: Rambling Man
Thought for today: When life feeds you snow, make snowmen.

SWSM ISO SWSW who likes long walks in the woods, Air Supply, and sipping wine by the refrigerator light.

I recently discovered that my neighbors keep tabs on who is at my house. I have been informed that several of them participate in regular discussions about the absence of men, or anyone for that matter, coming and going from my house. I wonder what they’d do if I put a red light on my front porch? I might try it.

At times I am grateful the neighbors keep an eye on me. One of them calls me if my car becomes stagnant for any length of time………. which is nice. I do have a fear of dying and no one discovering my rotting corpse for weeks. Despite their watchfulness, I’m sure they find my behaviors curious. I’m sure they don’t know what to think of a woman who makes snow angels and snowmen in her yard. At least there is a man in my yard………………..now.

Day 158 - Dec. 25
Listening to: Walking in a Winter Wonder Land
Thought for today: The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

Today many of you carved a Christmas turkey/ham. My friend Rick was busy taunting me with his efforts to channel Julia Childs to prepare boeuf bourguignon. Meanwhile, the vegetable oil flowed freely in my house as I prepared the Krisditional salmon croquettes and fried okra. Merry Christmas me! No Julia needed for this dish! I can do this one without a chef possession.

We had our first white Christmas in 17 years. I don’t remember it snowing on Christmas in 1993! I think I will remember this one.

Why do we get so excited about a white Christmas? There is great debate about when Jesus was actually born. Some say he was born in the fall with snow an improbability. It does snow in that region and is not entirely an impossibility. All I know is that modern media has perpetuated the romantic notion of a white Christmas and magnified it exponentially.

Day 159 - Dec. 24
Listening to: Back In Love Again (LTD)
Thought for today: God bless us EVERYONE!

No, I have not been hired to be the poster child for Tootsie Roll…………although they should really look at my Tootsie Roll consumption resume and consider the possibilities. I asked Santa for Prince Andrew and a Tootsie Roll factory for Christmas. Instead, I received a jar of Tootsie Rolls the size of my head………… ……….always………….always……………ALWAYS ……a good thing. Prince Andrew, on the other hand, will have to wait. Santa let me know that HRH is not ready for my fabulosity yet.

This week has been one of the most enjoyable weeks that I have had in a very long time. Both of my children have been at home and I have been off work. For the first time in my history as a mother there were ZERO sibling wars, both of their grades were good, and it’s been a few months since either has been in trouble. I’m grateful……..honest to God grateful. As the cherry on top of the life cake, for the first time since I divorced some 15 years ago I don’t give a rat’s ass about being alone/single during Christmas. I have actually been overflowing with happiness. Consider yourself warned. The apocalypse may be at hand.

Merry Christmas to my family and friends! I love you all with 100,000% of my being (and that isn’t the wine talking either).

Day 160 - Dec. 23
Listening to: Chestnuts Roasting on An Open Fire
Thought for today: You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~Robert Paul

World! Meet my attic. Attic! Meet my world. This is the chimney in my attic. It jutted out of the roof top back in the day and was chopped off during the great renovation of 2000. Are you saying, “Kris you have a chimney but no fireplace?” I am telling you I have a chimney and no fireplace. The chimney was somehow used to heat the joint back in 1918. Coal was the source of heat. It’s beyond me why the builders (DuPont engineers) put a chimney in a house yet failed to put a hole in the wall for a fireplace. WTF 1918 DuPont engineers?!?!?! I personally think the Easter basket adds class to it.

So why am I rambling on and on about my chimney? TODAY I learned about the origination of tracking Santa Claus on radar on Christmas Eve. It’s fascinating. Sears & Roebuck gave out a number in 1955 for the general population to call to inquire about Santa’s location. They gave out the wrong number. They gave out the number to NORAD; thus, tracking Santa via radar was born.

Today’s revelation made me start thinking about my chopped off chimney and explaining to a child how Santa gets into a house without a fireplace. By the time I moved into this house, my children had stopped believing so I was spared. I think if I had grown up in this house I would have had panic attacks thinking Santa had tried to come down the fireplaceless chimney and disappeared forever! So if Santa doesn't show up at your house this year, let me know................ he may be at my house..............stuck for all eternity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NORAD_Tracks_Santa

Day 161 - Dec. 22
Listening to: Knock on Wood
Thought for today: Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, Eve

I love Christmas cards and am grateful my friends still have the discipline to send them. I bought cards to send this year, but they are still sitting on my kitchen table……… abandoned like a New Years diet.

Since the first soldier was sent to Iraq, there has been a plea for civilians to send Christmas cards to the troops. A few years ago I answered the plea and sent cards to soldiers to express my gratitude. I included my email in each card offering friendship. One soldier responded. We began communicating via instant message. Our discussions revolved around the simplicities of life. The relationship smacked of innocence. There was zero hint of romance or sex.

One night G.I. Christmas Soldier asked if I had a webcam................ ummmmmmmmmm........no. He then asked if he could turn his webcam on. .........ummmmmmmm...........OK. No biggie. It was nice to see his face. We continued to talk over the next few days minus the web cam. He then asked if he could turn the webcam on again. When he did, there on my computer screen was a naked soldier in all of his God Blesssssssssssssss America glory. I was speechless. Talk about your Wikileaks!!!! I'm not sure what he expected from me. I think my silence embarrassed him because the next day he apologized for his GI shock and awe and said he was going on a secret mission. I never heard from him again.

Day 162 - Dec. 21
Listening to: Everlasting Love
Thought for the day: It's easy to see, hard to foresee. ~Ben Franklin

I have uncovered a horrific truth. Last night, when I opened a gift from a friend, I couldn’t read the writing on the package. An older lady in the group gave me her reading glasses and ………BAM………..just like Jerry Falwell had hit me on the head and declared me healed…………I could SEEEEE. Ugggh. I need reading glasses. It’s like someone flipped a switch. There was no building up to this abomination.

Today I went to check out my eye wear options. By the way, I didn’t intend for this picture to be so blurry, but it’s quite appropriate! Why are reading glasses so butt-ass ugly? Upon seeing them in their butt-ass ugliness, seeing what they cost, and checking out my small print reading skillzzzz in the store, I decided to hold out a little bit longer. Besides, the weather is nice along the river deNile.

Day 163 - Dec. 20
Listening to: Here Comes Santy Claus
Thought for today: It's a major award!

My life runneth over with leg lamps. Tonight my Wednesday night dinner group got together to exchange gifts and to play a round of Dirty Santa…………yes, on Monday. Last year, I acquired a smaller version of the lamp in a game of Dirty Santa. I fought hard for it and drew blood from my opponents to get it. This year the first gift I chose was the leg lamp night light which caused a lot of laughter because of what went down last year. Surprisingly, no one took it from me. Dirty Santa was peaceful this year.

So, with the snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, the night light is blazing forth in unparalleled glory. The problem is that I don’t seem to have an outlet that allows the leg to be plugged in correctly. The leg plugs in upside down. Eeeek. It looks even ………um……….scarier.

Day 164 - Dec. 19
Listening to: Miracle on 34th Street
Thought for today: Now wait a minute, Susie. Just because every child can't get his wish that doesn't mean there isn't a Santa Claus.

On my walk today I noticed squirrel nests and mistletoe are abundant in the trees. I started thinking about mistletoe. It has been a long time since I have seen anyone use mistletoe as a kissing trap. Is this a tradition destined for the attic of Christmases past…………..like all stores being closed on Christmas, an orange viewed as a special treat, Lifesaver booklets, and saying Merry Christmas?

Aside from the lure of a kiss, Mr. Mistletoe is no boring plant. He is in fact a tree murderer, a real parasite. He is also poisonous which makes me wonder about the whole kissing thing. The French believed he was hanging out on the tree chopped down to make the cross used to crucify Jesus. On the flip side there are those in history that viewed Mr. Mistletoe as a hero, a real magician. From curing fertility problems to protecting one from evil, some thought Mr. Mistletoe had it going ONNNN.

As for me, I’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe. Maybe I should add this to my bucket list.
If you plan to be the one to help me fulfill my bucket list, please read the mistletoe instructions. Mucking it up isn't an option! http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/mistletoe3.htm

Day 165 - Dec. 18
Listening to: Silent Night
Thought for today: It is better to light a candle that to curse the darkness. ~Chinese Proverb

Candles. I love them. Oddly enough, Sixteen Candles was on TV today (a movie that makes me laugh ridiculously hard). Candles burn in every type of ceremony imaginable, lead the way when electricity fails us, squelch the stench in a room, and in my case serve as a substitute fireplace in a fireplaceless house. In this photo candles were used to memorialize and bring comfort to the living.

Tonight was the annual candle vigil at the cemetery near my house. I stopped by for a few minutes to pay my respects. The peace in this place was thick. It’s funny......... other times of the year I would think a cemetery creepy at night. Candle light changed the place. Not all of the candles were lit though which bothered me. I stood there for awhile thinking I should light some of the candles that were dark. I didn’t. I was more afraid of stealing the moments of the living than letting the dead know I cared.

Day 166 - Dec. 17
Listening to: The Power of Love
Thought for today. The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. -B.B. King.

Twenty-two years ago today I graduated from college. I SWEAR I have a graduation cap on somewhere in that nest of permed hair in the photo!

I completed my degree in 3 ½ years. Two weeks later I got married. Two weeks after that I started working at DuPont…………here I am today……….educated, not married, and still working at DuPont. There are a lot of regrets in the words written in this paragraph, but with those regrets come some caveats……caviar caveats………things that are rare, wonderful, precious……….things that would be impossible without the regrets. I guess the lesson to all of this is don't regret regrets.

If you are in college, DO NOT RUSH GRADUATION! Enjoy your time but go to every single class………..and be grateful big hair is out of style!

Day 167 - Dec. 16
Listening to: You Made Me So Verrrry Happy
Thought for today: I'm so glad you came into my life!

Today the DuPont maintenance shop opened its doors for retirees to come share a Christmas meal with those of us still enslaved by our own personal economies.

Last night, I lamented not having flash cards with pictures on them to review the names of the retired employees that would show up today. My name recall abilities are H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! The good news is that several of them called me Kim. I was immediately at ease with my bad memory. I get called Kim a lot and I am not sure why. Is Kim easier to remember than Kris? I have a cousin named Kim and I doubt she ever gets called Kris.

Before we sat down for lunch, we said a prayer. I’ve bowed my head for several dinner blessings this week and I noticed something that made me giggle today. Every time someone said a dinner blessing, the blessor said “God” or “Lord” FIFTY MILLION TIMES…………God please bless this food Lord, please oh God watch over us, God we thank you for Jesus, Lord………. I do this when I pray too. Why? Only salesmen repeat a person’s name in a conversation. If I was having a face to face conversation with God I probably wouldn’t say His name once. God knows we’re talking to Him!

I have eaten too much this week. My fat feels fat.

Day 168 - Dec. 15
Listening to: O Holy Night
Thought for today: Well butter my biscuits, Facebook albums have a limit of 200 photos.....pffhhhtttt........ I should protest. On to part 2.

You are looking at an EPIC Christmas potluck FAIL. I’m calling this the brownie cheesecake oven dump. It tastes great but looks like the oven took a giant dump. One of my friends on Facebook suggested I throw some ice cream on it and call it Christmas goulash.

I made this mess last night for the first of two work lunches. Obviously, it didn't make the cut. Instead of taking it today, I stopped and bought a cake before work. Rachel, Martha, Paula, and Giada have now put a bounty on my head to prevent me from ever making anything outside the simple realm of spaghetti, grilled cheese, salad, and PB&J again.

Tomorrow is Christmas lunch #2. Do I dare attempt to make something else? I may just try to slide in and be a freeloader. If my coworkers saw this oven dump, they may pay me to be a freeloader................ or at least feed me!

I wonder if they make Pepto-Bismol for ovens.................I use to love that stuff as a kid, but that's a whole other 365 blog.

Day 170 - Dec. 13
Listening to: Bennie and the Jets
Thought for the day: Dear Mr. Heat Miser, if I have ever taken you for granted please forgive me!

Behold the Amazon snow angel! Yes, I made a snow angel today! Who invented the snow angel? It took some ingenuity to figure out that you can lie down and swipe your legs and arms in a manner that creates the image of an angel. I bet an angel inspired someone to do it.

As expected I Googled “who invented the snow angel” and received more information than expected. I had to share my find!

• What is the largest amount of snow angels to descend upon the Earth? Exactly 8,962 snow angels were simultaneously created in North Dakota on March 28, 2007. http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-02-18-snow-angel_x.htm

• Can making a snow angel cost you money? YEP! Making a snow angel in the end zone of a football game to celebrate a touchdown will get you penalized in the NFL. Wes Welker was fined $10,000 and he’s not the only one. http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2008/12/21/wes-welker-penalized-for-snow-angel/

• There is a snow angel name generator online. My snow angel name is “Glory the Angel of Tree Decorating.” Just call me Glory for short. See what your snow angel name is at http://www.quizopolis.com/snow-angel-name-generator.php.

• So who invented the snow angel? One source said a little girl named Anna Thomas fell in the snow in 1904 and was the first to make the observation. Another source says snow angels date back to Greek times. I did not find a definitive answer to the question.

I wonder what snow angels eat? Maybe I should Google it!

Day 171 - Dec. 12
Listening to: the sound of desperate wheels spinning on black ice
Thought for the day: overwhelmed with gratitude for shelter, warmth, food...........the bare essentials.

First snow of the winter season! I don’t remember it snowing this much in Nashville this early. The snow has brought with it vicious winds laced with tiny daggers of cold. Mr. Freeze Meister IS IN THA HOUSE YA'LL!!!!

One of my favorite things about snow is watching Pearl, the Fab Lab, revert to puppy-like behavior. It’s as if all of the excitement of children living in the neighborhood has exploded into the universe and filled her heart. She runs around trying to eat every flake and acts like she thinks the ground is sprinkled with squirrel and cat-scented sugar. Her senses seem heightened and she disregards the cold. Today, she had to stop by every tree we passed to take squirrel inventory. I caught her at work in this photo.

Day 173 - Dec. 10
Listening to: Christmas music
Thought for the day: I am here to take a stand against this bill. ~Bernie Sanders

I’m struggling with the 365 today. I really don’t have a picture to represent what consumed a large part of my thoughts and I’m stretching a little with my photo.

This photo is one of my favorites in my DuPont archives. It was taken in the 1940s. Though there is humor in the protest by these women, I’m sure they were serious. In a day and time 20+ years before women’s lib exploded, women had to fight hard for equality. We still fight today, but it’s a cake walk compared to the 40s. I wish I could tell these ladies having enough men at parties is still a problem today! For you married people………..and not that I’ve done this………..but the speed dating peeps are more likely to let a woman sign up if she brings a man!

I totally admire people who stand up and fight for what they believe. Today a senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders, stood on his feet for 9 hours to filibuster President Obama’s attempt to renew tax cuts for the rich. Whether I agree with him or not is NOT the point I want to make here. Sanders showed a passion that I haven’t seen in awhile. It takes some kahunas to do what he did. Even if his efforts were in vein, I bet you there are thousands of people who had no clue who he was or what a filibuster is before today. If nothing else, the whole incident prompted me to learn more about the history of filibusters. http://ezinearticles.com/?Famous-Filibusters-in-Political-History&id=31091 Thanks Colonel Bernie, take the chicken out of Sanders, Sanders!

Day 174 - Dec. 9
Listening to: Alive & Kickin'
Thought for the day: Sometimes life's Hell. But hey! Whatever gets the marshmallows toasty. ~J. Andrew Helt

I am using a simple photo to illustrate a more complex thought I had today. The complex thought? Bad things often happen for a reason and the outcome can be a positive thing. I have watched this concept play out repeatedly in the past few weeks in my life and the lives of others.

So you ask, “Kris how does your MP3 player illustrate this concept?” I will tell you how. Back in the summer, while I was mowing my yard the back of the MP3 player became dislodged and fell into the path of the unforgiving blades of the mower. Days passed. Months passed. Yet, my backless MP3 player remained a committed companion.

I sometimes think that electronics have a life in years similar to that of a dog. For example, a one-year old MP3 player is actually 10 years old in human years. My MP3 player is six years old, or 60 years in human years. Despite the fact that it is backless and still works, it is acting its age. The buttons don’t work well, so it’s difficult to turn on and off (no I don’t feed it MP3 Viagra). I have started resorting to pulling the battery out to turn it off. Removing the battery would be difficult if the MP3 back had not been a victim of my lawn mower. The backless MP3 player has turned out to be a good thing.

Here’s the clincher. I’m typically not a glass half full person……….especially in December. Seeing this perspective says that I am thinking like a glass half full person. I AM SCARED!!!!!!!!!

Day 174 - Dec. 7
Listening to: Whatever is on TV before Glee
Thought for today: I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity. ~General Dwight D. Eisenhower

Day 2 of being sick……..

Since it is the 69th anniversary of Pearl Harbor I thought I’d throw out some WWII nostalgia. This is the front and back cover of a monthly news magazine published where I work in December 1943. How bout ole’ Santa bustin’ one in Hitler’s butt? I Googled "Santa" and "Osama Bin Laden" and in a twinklin' of an eye a slew of images of Osama dressed as St. Nick did appear............but nothing like this. I imagine none of the Santa Osamas are associated with any corporation either. As corporations have became global they have backed away from political commentary about war and events threatening democracy. It makes me question how much patriotism has been drained from the United States because of global sprawl. My employer still supports the military and those who serve, but it’s done rather quietly and is politically correct.

I love patriotic nostalgia. There are tons of examples of it in my employer's public relation materials from both WWI and WWII.

Day 175 - Dec. 6
Listening to: The Gift
Thought for today: I'm grateful for my parents.

I am sick and haven’t been very mobile today, so I decided to pull a photo out of the archives that makes me smile.

It is parade season. Everyone loves a parade right? It’s not much fun participating in one when you’re in a marching band behind the horse brigade. When you’re on a float it is a lot of fun……………. even if your mom makes you wear an ugly brown coat under your beautiful white angel costume. I am the angel in the box in this picture. It appears that I am the “greatest gift of all.” Yeah, yeah, I know they really mean Jesus. The design of this float is pretty much a parade float FAIL in more ways than one. All I remember about this particular parade is throwing a bit of a tantrum about having to wear the coat. I should have just been grateful my mom didn’t make me wear a ski mask……………….though an angel in a ski mask might have been cool.

Btw…..
This is the Tullahoma Christmas parade back in the early 70s. Some of my Tullahoma peeps may know the other two boys in this picture.

Day 177 - Dec. 4
Listening to: In the Mood
Thought for today: It’s never too late for faith.

Slacktivism

As most of you know, everyone has been changing their profile photo on Facebook to a cartoon character to raise awareness for child abuse. One of my daughter's friends refused to change her photo and referred to the Facebook movement as “slacktivism.” I think she meant awareness does not beget action. Up until I saw her comments, I certainly had no plans to help. She challenged me.

Tonight, there was a big band benefit dance at my local community center to help raise money and take in toys for underprivileged children. I had not planned to go, but the thought of being a slacktivist bothered me. I saw an opportunity. Sure, this wasn’t exactly an abused children fundraiser, but it is a fact that poverty is the single best predictor of child abuse. Stress is another predictor. It doesn’t take an Einstein to know that parents are typically more stressed at Christmas than any other time. You get the picture. Yeah, my action to help tonight was teeny weeny, but I’m now challenged to do more. I will not be a slacktivist!

The funny part about tonight was that my intention was to go, pay my money, give my toy, say hi to a few friends, and leave! I meant to be out of there by 7:05 (it started at 7). I didn’t get home until 9:30. I had fun catching up with old friends. I even got to see Santa.

I have to give big props to Charles Hood for organizing this event, the Moonlighters for providing beautiful music, and Susan for her special treats. These people along with everyone who came out made a difference in the community tonight.

Day 178 - Dec. 3
Listening to: Grownup Christmas List
Thought for today: The scent of fireplaces spewing their smoke into the night air taunts me in a horrible way.

I know you can’t tell what this picture is. I was going to skeech a photo off of someone else, but then I reminded myself that I did not embark on the 365 project to improve my photography skills.

So what is this picture? THIS, my friends, is the crescent moon and Venus at exactly 5:30 a.m. this morning. It is a barfo-quality pic, but the fact that both the moon and Venus (top speck of light) are so bright should provide a hint to how beautiful this site was.

I love the fab lab, Pearl, but I HAAAAAAAATE that I have to walk her in the dark every morning. It is so depressing and when it is cold enough to freeze boogers………. it is really depressing. This morning I was rewarded. The moment I rounded the corner and saw the moon and its companion planet I was reminded that the Earth does not rotate around me. It is amazing to me how Earth’s rotation and movement is crucial to human sustainability, yet, I rarely give its contribution props. I wonder how many people forsake such a simple idea. I’m glad I was given the chance to throw out love and gratitude to the universe this morning.

http://nineplanets.org/venus.html

Day 179 - Dec. 2
Listening to: Karma Karma Chameleon
Thought for today: Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.

I worked hard for this leftover pizza (leftovers seen in photo). I’m not proud of what it took to get it. Last night, my Wednesday night dinner group went to City House. The homemade mozzarella they put on their pizza is like crack to me. I spent the entire day yesterday fantasizing about my very own City House pizza. I thought Kris's very own City House pizza was a done deal. NOPE!

One of my Dad’s mantras has always been that things in life are better when shared. I subscribe to this belief and have been a disciple of the concept for years. You would think that when the City House waiter told us that the restaurant serves family-style to large groups (there were 10 of us) that I would be elated to share and use the opportunity to preach the sharing prophecy. I was not elated. I was distraught and my restaurant bitch meter rose exponentially in .3 seconds flat. In case you don’t know, family style is where the group orders a few dishes and everyone shares. Family style meant I would not get my very own City House pizza. Family style meant that my fantasy was squashed. I begged the waiter to let me opt out of the family-style rule. He said no. I pouted hard. After watching me turn down the appetizers and my bottom lip grow, one of my friends pulled the waiter to the side and quietly asked him one last time to bend the rules. My friend's attempt resembled a lawyer fighting for someone on death row. The waiter caved. I got my own pizza. OH JOYOUS PIZZA!!! I gobbled it up as if I had been living on a diet of Vienna sausages and crackers for the past week. Then……………………………..I got indigestion. I never get indigestion. Hello karma!

I don’t think my Wednesday night peeps will let me forget this incident. I am most grateful that they didn’t kick me to the curb last night.

Day 182 - Nov. 29
Listening to: Wheel in the Sky
Thought for today: We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. ~Plato

According to Wikipedia, owls are divided into two groups: Strigidae (typical owls) and Tytonidae (barn owls). Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Stop the presses! They forgot the third group, Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia (fake plastic owls). The owl featured in today’s photo is no ghetto fake owl! This one is in possession of flashing eyes that burst forth with laser-like beams when any motion is detected. I encountered this particular plastic companion of Athena on a late -night walk over the weekend. When its red eyes zeroed in on me I thought, “Cool, a magic owl. Dear owl, please bring me a fire place, a flat stomach, and a Jon Hamm blowup doll.” I can tell you without doubt no wisdom flowed forth from this counterfeit creature. I’ll let you know if its magic is more forthcoming.

Seriously, the duty of this particular variety of Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia is to serve as an imaginary danger to vermin that encounter it. When I saw it, I giggled because I know the danger is not real. Hmmmmm……… I wonder how many metaphorical Plasticko’ Koukoouvagia are in my life. What am I afraid of that is imagined? Do we have a couple of hours to talk?

Check out this cute baby owl video posted by my friend Wendy! http://www.wimp.com/owlhunts/

Day 183 - Nov. 28
Listening to: Got to Be Real
Thought for the Day: One man's trash is another man's treasure!

The neighbors behind me either cleaned out their attic or their basement over the weekend. I’m relieved they are not hoarders. The neighbor that lived next to me at my prior address was evicted for hoarding dead animals and having garbage stacked to the ceiling. She made the people on the Hoarders show look like neat freaks.

The problem with my anti-hoarding neighbors is they put the stuff they are chunking out on my side of the garbage aisle. For a control freak like me, this is a problem. I have anxiety. What if the garbage men don’t pick up all of this stuff? What if the garbage men think that I am the one responsible for making them work harder? .............breathe..... I know I’m silly, or crazy, or both.

This morning the scene in the photo unfolded before my eyes. I watched this man methodically go through my neighbor’s crap. I was amazed at some of the stuff he was rescuing. There was some nice stuff in that pile! Anyway, judging by the truck the man was driving, he was by no means destitute……………or was he? I wonder about people who scavenge through neighborhood trash. They’re either really needy or they have a side business. Regardless, it’s a lesson in swallowing pride whole............. no chewing.

I suppose I should dispose of some pride, be a better neighbor, and welcome the trash................................ until trash pickup day that is.

Day 186 - Nov. 25
Listening to: Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Thought for the day: Gluttony lives here.

AHHH……..nothing like electric sex and leftover Thanksgiving food on the counter-top. Is this not a beautiful site? Wendell, this picture is for you!

I had a wonderful meal and visit with my mom and step dad today and am thankful! In honor of this day, I’m going to repeat the list I keep posted on my Facebook info page that names what makes my life whole.

I'm thankful for God, my family, my friends (both Republican AND Democrat), Pearl, Diet Coke, pianos, ballet, dogs, peanut butter, Letterman, McDonalds french fries, green bean casserole, my 12th grade English teacher (Dr. Estes), McKids & Mcfamily, Claire de Lune, Dr. Jackson at MTSU, RAM, Sunday afternoon phone calls from Dad, summer, red wine, Wednesday night dinner crew, snowflakes, Mozart, NPR, trombones, the smell of Christmas, Yosemite, Beavis and Butthead, bubble gum, GOLF, Vivaldi, Monet and Manet, Madrid, REAL hugs (no pansy-ass ones), the smell of coffee, sunrises, funny text messages, Cookie Monster, tropical beaches, teenagers, grandmothers, 401K plans, angels, harpsichords, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, warm summer nights, moonlight, fried okra, cathedrals, Christmas music, electricity, the sound a driver makes when it hits the ball, spaghetti, Mary Cassatt, DuPont, my queen size pillow top super-sweet mattress, ponytail holders, lunch-time walks, chocolate, cell phones, Cambridge England, flannel sheets, laugh lines, and those little poky things that you stick in the end of corn on the cob!

Note: Just in case you have never seen the movie A Christmas Story, the "electric sex" and the leg lamp are from that movie. :-)

Day 188 – Nov. 23
Listening to: Let This Groove
Thought for the day: To the outside world we all grow old but not to a brother or sister. We know each other as we always were.

Tale of the Tabasco Terrorist

The first five and a half years of Jimmy’s life were heaven, nirvana, peace on Earth……………and then the sister was born. At first, Jimmy liked the concept of having a sister, but life as he knew rapidly declined as she grew into a prissy, annoying, hell on wheels. As peace deteriorated, a sister jihad was born.

It all began one December………………. a long, long time ago. The mom brought home a box of ice cream popsicles. These weren’t your regular popsicles; each was shaped in the form of a Santa Claus with a stick up its butt. Both Jimmy and the sister gobbled them up as if nuclear annihilation was imminent.

One night after dinner, Jimmy and the sister both raced to the freezer to get a frozen Santa Claus. Tensions mounted as both realized there was only one left in the box. Feuding ensued. The mom stepped in and with Winston Churchillesque diplomacy firmly stated neither child could have the last Santa Claus.

For whatever reason, as the night wore on, the mom decided that the sister would be the recipient of the last Santa Claus. Accepting defeat, Jimmy quietly volunteered to get it for the sister (plotting her demise the entire time). While in the kitchen, he covertly poured Tabasco sauce all over the Santa’s vanilla beard and strawberry body. The sister was innocent and clueless. She eagerly took the treat from her brother and began to greedily gobble it up. Jimmy knew victory was near. In a matter of seconds, the sister’s face contorted into a gargoyle-ish expression which was followed by a bratty-sister air-siren scream. The mom grabbed the uneaten portion of the Santa and immediately began the crime scene investigation.

Realizing what Jimmy had done, the mom demanded that he ingest two tablespoons of the pepper sauce as punishment. He swallowed the blazing hot liquid with an evil smile………………one battle down, many more to go.

Note from the author (me):
Jimmy and I laugh about this story now. Today is his birthday, so I decided to retell it with some flair. Aside from beating me up a time or two and causing one minor concussion, he was and still is a very good brother.

Day 189 - Nov. 22
Listening to: Been Around the World (an I, I, I)
Thought for the day: Beware of the zombie pumpkin this pre-Christmas season!

Meet the zombie pumpkins. Their brains have been gutted, their lights extinguished, and their innards are a slimy, sloppy mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don't stalk the streets of Old Hickory eating blowup Christmas lawn decorations. Most likely these dying gourds are the result of laziness versus corporate product testing to find a new pumpkin lacquer that will make them last, and last, and last.

Laziness was not the cause of the zombie pumpkin that stalked the streets of Costa Mesa, California back in the 80s. One Halloween, my physicist father decided to conduct a scientific experiment involving our family and the Halloween pumpkin. We carved the pumpkin, we lit it, everyone said trick or treat, dawn broke the next day, and the pumpkin sat on the porch, sat on the porch, and sat on the porch. My dad’s goal was to see how long it would take for someone in the family to take the initiative to throw away the pumpkin. No one ever did. Rumor is that it still roams the streets in search of women who have had too much plastic surgery, or blow up lawn decorations.

Day 192 - Nov. 19
Listening to: Margaritaville
Thought for the day: How do you tell if a turtle is male or female?

I have spent the last two weeks during my lunch break trying to catch a glimpse of the two bald eagles that treat my employer's property as a Sandals Resort for eagles during the winter. Other coworkers have seen them, but not me. They must know I’m paparazzi and avoid me. Anyway….I never saw the eagles, but I did meet up with this turtlesaurus rex.

While I was talking to the turtle prepping him/her for our photo shoot, a jeep pulled up loaded with a couple of handsome men that I’ve never seen. My first thought was, “what are these handsome men doing back here in the woods?” The driver rolled the jeep window down and said to me, “what are you doing back here in the woods?” I never found out their reason for invading my walking path, but they did tell me that this BAT (big ass turtle) was a snapping turtle. I suppose it’s a good thing I didn’t get too close to test their claim. I’d hate to have to report to our safety office that I had been mauled by a BAT.

On my way back to Cubicle Caverns I started imagining how many fishing poles this BAT has broken in his/her lifetime. You could tell just looking at him/her that he/she has a penchant for bait. I’m sure he/she has also caused many a fisherman to think they’ve caught “the big one.”

Day 195 - Nov. 16
Listening to: Ron Howse broadcasting the weather
Thought for the day: A pessimist sees the poop in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every poop. ~Winston Churchill

Well here it is……..the ultimate gift for the pet-loving peep who has everything. Sigh. This must be a service for either the extremely wealthy, the neighbor that keeps a herd of cattle on their manicured front lawn, or the casual owner of an elephant named Earl. Who in their right mind would hire a pooper scooper service? My reaction to this business is just proof that I am down to Earth. Anyway, more power to these people. They are their own bosses. If they can make a living picking up poop, who am I to hate?

This photo was taken this morning and provides a hint of just how freaking gross the weather has been in Nashville today………..cold, wet, cold, and NASTY. I need a fireplace. Santa? God? Anyone? :-)

Day 196 – Nov. 15
Listening to: Fire and Rain
Thought for the day: Why does the dental hygienist always try to have a conversation with me?

Clean Teeth and Dirty Hair

I haven’t washed my hair in three days and it feels ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, DE FACTO…………….NASSSSSSSSTY. My mop didn’t hit category 4 of nastiness until around 5 p.m. (photo was taken at 7 p.m.) I’m perplexed. How did women go for so long without washing their hair back in the day? I think my hair probably has enjoyed its small journey toward dreadlockdom, but the anti-wash period will end promptly tomorrow as long as my head doesn't slide off my pillow and cause brain damage.

Despite the dirty hair, I have some cleeeeeeeeean teeth. I went to the dentist today for my 6 month cleaning. I’m happy to report that I have zero cavities and the cleaning was finished in record time. Four years ago, the report wasn’t so good. I walked out with four cavities. I became an obsessive flosser after that day. I’m here to tell you flossing has had a HUGE impact on my dental life. Why oh why didn’t I listen when I was younger?

As you can see, not much happened today…………………

Day 198, Nov. 12
Listening to: Someone to Watch Over Me
Thought for the day: Yes Virginia, there is a God………….and he is not Santa Claus.

This photo is not the photo I took to represent November 12, 2010, but it represents my state of mind today. The little girl in this picture is me back in the stone age.

I park on the street because I have no driveway or garage. As a result, warming my car up in the morning is a necessity when the temps plummet. A while back I decided to start using the wait time to pray. My prayers are usually very similar from day to day, but not today. I don’t know why I embarked on a prayer departure. I began my prayer with words of gratitude, moved on to blessing requests, prayed for my children and sick friends, and then it happened. I started asking God for stuff. After I said, “Amen,” I sat there a minute and thought to myself, “Did I just talk to God like He was Santa Claus? I believe I did.” I was a bit perplexed all day. I came to the conclusion that God wants us to talk to Him about everything including our wants.

Of course in my laundry list of wants this morning, I asked Santa Claus God to bring me a fireplace. If God was like the Santa Claus on the movie A Christmas Story he’d probably say to me, “you’ll burn your house down,” or “there’s a nice fireplace downstairs.”

The picture I intended for today - Moon Over Autumn

Day 199 - Nov. 11
Listening to: Hero
Thought for the day: Freedom is never free.

One of my favorite veterans.........

This is Red Dean with his new bride in 1949. I love this photo because there is no hint of the unimaginable cruelty Red had suffered just five years earlier. Red is a WWII Prisoner of War and Purple Heart recipient.

Red was captured on Christmas Eve in 1944 and spent six months in a German POW camp. His imprisonment began with a 4-day march without food. He and his fellow prisoners were beaten, slept on a dirt floor, witnessed the shootings of other prisoners , and were basically starved. ''Each day, we would have one raw turnip. Twice a week, we would have a piece of black bread that we found out later was made of sawdust. But we ate it. And twice a week, we had a cup of potato-peeling soup,” Red told a Tennessean reporter in 2008.

My favorite thing about Red? He has not wasted one second of his life since his release in 1945. He married, had a family, graduated from college and worked as a civilian until he retired. At 90, he continues to serve his church, volunteer tirelessly, and he never misses an opportunity to honor his country. Red exemplifies all that is good about this country.

A fun fact about Red..............
He is believed to be the oldest living Vanderbilt fan. He has been attending football, basketball, and baseball games since the 1960. Here is an article about Red's claim to Vandy fan fame.... http://www.dupontalumni.org/articles/article89.htm

Day 201 - Nov. 9
Listening to: Don't Stop Believing
Thought for the day: If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

In many ways, this fractured computer represents my life right now. In a literal sense, I thought this cracked computer was my future before today. This is a story about a lesson in faith for me.

When I went to turn my computer on Saturday, it was dead. I didn't even receive the complimentary blue screen of death. The computer tower was DING DONG DEAD. My immediate reaction was one of straight-up panic. I rely heavily on my computer for work, volunteer work, and of course socializing.

I pulled out my troubleshooting guide and tried everything imaginable to resuscitate the poor thing. I even offered it a Kit Kat……..still, nothing. So, I begrudgingly pulled out my cracked Dell baby laptop (seen in this photo) . said a small ”thank you” that at least online socializing could be salvaged, and I started scheming about how to buy a new computer. In the end, I decided a new computer was out of the question. I just didn’t see it happening, so I started devising a plan on how to survive with the cracked baby laptop.

Meanwhile, in the back of my head, there was voice saying, “don’t give up on the big daddy computer.” The voice hung around until Monday, so I tried starting it up again and still……………..zzzzzzzzzzz………nothing. Fortunately, there was one sign of life. There was a green flashing light on the back of the computer tower. Yesterday, I decided to Google, “green flashing light” and “computer won’t start.” Low and behold, I stumbled on others who had the same problem. Many had used an unorthodox tool to fix the problem.............a hair dryer. A hairdryer? At first, I thought it was a joke. With nothing to lose, I decided to try it.

When I got home, I plugged in the hairdryer and blasted the back of the tower with hot air. Three minutes later I tried pushing the start button. NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!! I walked away from the computer, started to cry, and started to play the "woes me" messages in my head............ “everything in your life is broken, why do you even bother with faith, you don’t deserve things to go right, blah blah blah BLAH.” Somewhere in the middle of my mental blubbering, another voice said, “Try starting the computer again.” I did. The computer came to life.

I constantly struggle with faith, but it’s these silly lessons that always slap me back where I need to be.

website that helped:
http://www.fixya.com/support/t991058-green_light_blinking_back_system_unit

Day 205 - Nov. 5
Listening to: Goodbye Stranger
Thought for the day: History must be written of, by and for the survivors.

A teensy weensy part of my job requires me to play history detective. I absolutely LOVE this part of my job. Usually the assignment involves finding pictures of someone’s grandfather or great grandfather. This time, our HR department asked me to find info on an employee from days gone by. Their request required me to bury my head in this book which contains approximately 5 years of company newsletters (I have all of the newsletters going back to 1918). When I dive into one of these books, my ADD is completely silenced.

The most interesting find for me today was not in this book. My search also required me to sift through a long-lost filing cabinet. In the cabinet, I discovered hundreds of old index cards that had been recycled for another purpose. The original use of the cards was to identify retired employees by retirement date, birth date, and reason for retirement. All of births were listed as ’80 or ’75……………and that would be 1880 or 1875. All of them had retired in the 1940s. I had a creepy-feeling moment when I realized the hundreds of IDs that I held in my hand belonged to people that are now dead. Shiver.

Listening to: 1-2-3
Thought for the day: I spotted the first home-based Christmas tree today……….. on my street. UGGH. BAAAH UGGGH.

I wonder how many times the lottery has been a sequential number. Everyone wants to win it. Get in line behind me because I will win! So what would you do if you won $123 million? I would help my family/friends obviously, but I’ve also whole heartedly committed to paying the college tuition for two very deserving young women (they know who they are), buying a Gucci-designed nurse’s uniform for a nurse friend of mine (she knows who she is), providing life-time vet coverage for my dog owner angels (they know who they are), and taking all ya’ll on a cruise (you know who all ya’ll are).

The minute I saw this sign today, the song 1-2-3 (Len Barry version) stuck in my head like brown paper towels in the toilet. I went to You Tube to have a listen. Guess how many songs are labeled either 1-2-3 or 1-2-3-4? That number would be 751,000 ……..less than the lottery jackpot, but hey………I’d take $751,000 too!

Of course then I see something like this……….
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/atlantic/maritime-community-hits-jackpot-as-lottery-winners-give-away-prize/article1785586/

………….and I wonder.

Day 207 - Nov. 3
Listening to: Pie Jesu
Thought for the day: Mexican tonight –I feel shellacked

Wednesday Night Dinner Club – La Hacienda

I already said I like eating at the hole in the wall Chinese joints where you question if the meat is beef or cat. I ALSO like eating at hole in the wall Mexican joints………………………where you question if the meat is beef or cat. Why do the beers and margaritas always taste better at these dark strip mall caverns of grease, cheese, salsa, chips, chips, and chips? Tonight, I tried something different I ordered fish tacos. YUM. Was it fish though? Tasted like fish, smelled like fish, looked like fish……………..cats probably do too.

I can’t tell you what everyone else ordered mainly because I cannot pronounce any of it. The pal sitting next to me ordered some kind of marinated fish with a copious amount of steamed vegetables on top. Sounds healthy, I know, and it was except we’d consumed at least four baskets of chip! I’m so full, but I think I have room for……….this one………..little…………….mint…………

Day 208 - Nov. 2
Listening to: If you See a Chance Take It
Thought for the day: “Voting is a civic sacrament.” ~Theodore Hesburgh

I voted today. (Insert silly tone of voice) I voted for a few Democrats, a few Republicans, but most importantly I voted to allow some kind of amendment to guarantee my constitutional right to fish and hunt in the great state of Tennessee. WHHHAAATTTT......... I almost burst out laughing in the polling place when I read the amendment..............only in Tennessee.

I have grown tired of political noise over the past few months, so I basically turned off any political passion I ever had. Dangerous, I know. Anyway, I KNEW I wanted to vote for Mike Turner for state representative. He has been a tremendous asset to the state of Tennessee and my community………and I absolutely love his family. I hope one of his three daughters will aspire to go into politics some day.

Day 209 - Nov. 1
Listening to: Daniel
Thought for the day: My body responded like a crack baby while eating this bowl of veggies.

LOOK……….I can follow a recipe! I cooked!!!! You might want to stock up on water and ammunition because the end of Earth as we know it may be near.

Today I ended my 110+ day of eating nothing but fast food, an occasional chunk of spaghetti, and frozen pizza. I can tell you that the moment the first spoonful of this vegetable soup touched my lips, my body responded with extreme greed.

Not long ago, a good friend of mine pointed out to me the misuse of the word “organic.” See http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/08/i-hate-organic/ for a sound discussion on how society has raped the word “organic." I wish I could tell you I made organic vegetable soup tonight, but instead I’m just going to say I made orgasmic vegetable soup to avoid any controversy. My body may implode from the consumption of real and healthy food. DuPont copeeps consider yourselves warned.

Day 212 - Oct. 29
Listening to: It’s an all 80s weekend on Jack FM. eeeeeeee
Thought for the day: ....like gag me with a spoon

Most of us make contributions when someone is in need. We donate when there is a catastrophic event or give food/clothing/money to the less fortunate. I call this charitable giving. Then, there is the person that randomly contributes something that is unnecessary ………….. just because. I call this unconditional giving. Paying for the order of the person behind you in the drive through at Starbucks is a beautiful example of unconditional giving I was the recipient of an act of unconditional giving this week.

For years, I have been hunting for a DuPont employee gate pass from 1918. Last week, a good friend emailed me to tell me there was one for sale on EBay. I immediately put in my bid. I couldn’t babysit the auction because I had to go to my daughter's marching band rehearsal. While I was gone, the auction ended and I lost by $1. ONE FREAKIN’ DOLLLA’!!! Like a little kid not getting a Malibu Barbie for Christmas, I was distraught. I emailed my friend the next day and told him I had lost the bid. He emailed me back and told me I had an angel. It turns out his brother, who I have never met, is the person that outbid me. He ended up giving me the gate pass. I offered to pay him back and he declined.

I played show and tell at DuPont today with my prized possession. Everyone was fascinated with it. There were thousands of these gate passes produced back in 1918. Very few survive today. It just goes to show that you never know what will be of value to someone 80 years from now.

I don’t know who the man is in the photo, but I feel like he is a long lost friend. I’m so thrilled with this gift…………..the material gift and the gift of a stranger. I now feel the urge to pay it forward!

Old Hickory history: http://www.dupontalumni.org/articles/article28.htm

Day 216 - Oct. 25
Listening to: Sleigh Ride of the Headless Horseman
Thought for the day: On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to all the children.

Dear Great Pumpkin,

It looks like you are now an official victim of this great recession perpetrated by the Republicans……..wait no……….the Democrats…….wait not………….Wall Street……….WHATEVER……. this is your notice that you are now being replaced by the utility tree or what I'd like to call the tree for all seasons. My neighbors are the first to bite the economy in the buttocks by placing a tree in their front window and decorating it with orange lights and pumpkins. Once the last "trick or treat" echoes in this great neighborhood of mine, I’m sure the Halloween utility tree decor (or daycor as we say in the South) will be replaced with turkeys, cornucopias, and Indian feathers. It is possible they’ll skip Thanksgiving all together in an attempt to squeak out one more dollar. At least it’s a tree and not a festivus for the restofus pole……… we can’t have a stripper-holiday pole in THIS hood!

Please accept my condolences for becoming a statistic in the line of unemployment.

Sincerely,
EbenezeKris Scroogette

Day 225 - October 17
Listening to: Life is a Highway
Thought for the day: The air today felt like swimming in sunny, warm, beautiful water.

Pearl is representin’! This is her Octboober breast cancer awareness campaign photo ………………….or Phyllis Diller costume for Halloween.

Yes, we all know that this month has been declared PINK with an intent to get women to woman up to the boobie pressin’ machine. I read an article this week that made me question having an awareness month. The article claims that studies show that having an awareness month has not significantly improved the breast cancer death rate. The article also claims the awareness month was created by a drug company that manufactures breast cancer drugs. hmmmmm. Despite it all, I’m grateful for the awareness month. I mean, who is to say that the awareness month can’t be just as much about getting enough vitamin D and avoiding toxins like the article suggests as it is about getting my boobs smashed between two glass plates?

Check out the article yourself.
http://www.naturalnews.com/030056_breast_cancer_awareness.html

Day 226 - October 16
Listening to: Rapper’s Delight (no joke)
Thought for the day: well it's on n on n on on n on the beat don’t stop until the break of dawn

My Dad is being honored as an outstanding alumnus by the department of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Tennessee this week, so he and his wife, Pauline, came through Nashville to visit with us beforehand. The added bonus was getting to see Wes, my son. I haven't seen him since August...............and he has matured!

Dad and Pauline live in California during the winter and England during the summer (she is British). When he comes to Tennessee he often wants to eat at Cracker Barrel to get his homeboy fix. From the get-go he teased Pauline about eating fried okra. He wanted her to try it. He jokingly said, “If I can drink your crappy English tea, you can at least try some fried okra.” You’d think a Revolutionary War part 2 might break out, but Pauline managed to shut him up with more class than I have in my pinky finger. The British and Americans are still at peace.

My dad and I both ordered fried okra. I almost had to whoop out my 4th grade attitude on our waitress, however. There was more fried okra on his plate than on mine............. I ended up getting a grip before my inner childhood monster consumed me……………I LOVE FRIED OKRA!!! Fried okra is just one letter away from being friend okra.